In Memory,

When my clock strikes twelve, and my time has come to a halt,
Whisper into my ear your favorite memory of us,
And grip my hand until I cannot feel the pain of an unknown tomorrow.
No grave can contain my soul,
But my free spirit is not as trapped as my roaming mind.
I wonder through the space where my 2AM thoughts keep me up,
And daydreams slowly turn into visions of a memory not yet formed.
I hear the words spoken onto my heart, yet cannot picture your face,
As though looking into the sun, high strung on power and grace.
You promise me love and say things a poet would envy,
Yet as the hand hits 11, your grip feels faint,
The settling panic makes me close my blinded eyes;
All I can hear is my pounding heart,
The clock begins to chime, though I am not ready to say my goodbyes,
And you have only begun to remind me of a tale between lost friends,
Who never got to have a drink promised to each other.
Only a few more minutes until my spinning head comes to a halt,
And my precious thoughts and daydreams stop altogether,
So until a new hour comes around, and the clock begins its cycle again,
I will wait for you to whisper your devotion into my ear,
And watch as our love floats into a time not yet shared between us.

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where my cliff meets your sky

She lives life to the fullest, soundly and gravely,
Holding back only pieces of her soul that make her who she is,
She searches the stars for answer,
For surely the vast sky will bestow its worldly views with her,
Yet, the clouds always seem to float in and out of the way,
And she is left trying to pieces together the pattern of the stars in her head.

He lives life on the edge, huddled on the corner of a growing cliff,
He knows he just has to jump—
He’s ready for life to offer whatever it has at the bottom of the canyon,
Yet, as much as he tries to push himself forward,
That corner has grown strings deep enough to not be snapped by a leap of faith.

She wants and wishes and wills life to make her memories,
Full and lived, with a collection of shot glass that line the wall,
Filled with regret, happiness and adventures she can’t quite remember.
She wants to be a girl, who keeps bookmarks for each story that spoke to her soul,
Marking pages in her life, filled with wonder, heartbreak and contentment.

He waits and waits for someone to come along,
To push him when he cannot bring himself to fall,
And that is when she appears.

She finds him on a cliff; she views him living life so freely with arms wide open.
He finds her at the bottom of his edges; he views her as the thing he can fall into.

And together, the live life to the fullest,
Falling into each other at the bottom of the sky and the top of cliffs.

Forest of Dreams

There is place for the broken minds and shattered hearts,
Deep within the woods, on a path filled with moonlight and stars,
Those who venture there have listened long to the call of the sirens,
The song luring them in with the promise of a cure,
For the hearts torn on the philosophy of a love lost.
And the minds of the broken souls,
Still worn of the sleeves of the young and helpless,
And in the forests they find comfort only the night can provide,
Trapping them with the gaze of the stars and a branch around their neck.
So if you must venture into the woods, be sure there is nothing left to loose,
For the night is only as kind in the theory of the setting sun,
As red as the blood lost to the promise built from a beautiful lie,
Bringing a cruel dawn to the edge of the forests domain.

It is only when the cage is open and the key lost to time that the damage it done
Just beneath the skin, the secret leaks out,
And fall into ears too innocent to understand their severity.
So be careful whom you responded to in the midnight hour,
For the creatures always call out into the night, so loud it’s deafening,
Only to hear the silence of their victims who no longer have the power to speak.
But in the silence you will hear the cries of those forgotten by love,
Waiting for the time when they will hear the sirens, and
See the silver glazing the waters edge, preparing to fall in the depth,
Holding on to the very gasp of air as they let her hands pull them deeper.

So when their senses regain and the forest is filled once more,
They venture from its confinement ready to build upon it a new city.
Taking the broken and weak to form a new idea of love,
Ready to take it from the safe and unsuspecting,
But deep in the woods, there are those still trapped,
Swinging from the branch that refuses to loosen the noose.
And they watch the sun rise again and again,
Thinking the red dawn will bring about a new feeling, too afraid to feel anything.
Watching the stars rise and fall, likening them to the broken hearts and tragic tales,
Never knowing that the stars rise from their broken hearts,
And the sun feeds off their desperation for a new feeling.
So when what you want isn’t want you need, and the feeling of nothing sinks in,
The sun and moon with crash into their temptations and take with them the world,
The forest will burn the minds of the broken and the waters will swallow the sirens.
And the space for the broken hearts and shattered minds will be forgotten,
Leaving in its place a seductive lure for the nomadic minds, and
A cautionary tale for those still enthralled by the sun and moon.
But from the ashes, the forest will rise once again,
Ready to capture the ones listening to the calls of those who scream into the night.

A Love Letter I’ll Never Write

“Whose to say that I didn’t love you,
I’m so used to giving, giving love, that I’ve grown more use to the act than the feeling,
But I know I felt something for you. (Something must be better than nothing, right?)
So continue to take, take what I don’t know I’m giving,
To blinded by the chance that this could be something more, something true and whole,
And keep me forming that slipknot in the strings I always attach.
Let this emotion ride itself ragged, run its course and take another piece of my soul,
But hopefully, you’ll be right there with me, filling in the gap that only heartbreak can stir,
Whose to say I didn’t love you?
So used to giving, that maybe I shouldn’t be afraid to take, take, take a piece of this feeling back,
And maybe than those three little words will fall from my lips,
Uttered in the silence of an all to real moment,
Whispered so quietly it stirs that piece of my soul trapped by the something,
Something that must be better than nothing…right?”

A Love letter you’ll never receive,
A letter I’ll never bring myself to write…

Drown in this Feeling

When the forbidden ends up at my doorstep in more ways than one,
What should I do? Now that my fantasy’s have been made reality,
And having it within my hands is all too much and not enough?
What do you do when you finally grasped the things you’ve been craving?
It’s not in the way I thought, having you like this is something I never saw coming,
I guess I’ll never know, not truly, but I’ve come close.
And I’m not sure what scares me more, wanting this or the fear of having it become a deeper reality then I’m ready for.
We wish we could be more secretive, sly and coy in the ways that count,
I wish my affection wasn’t so apparent, these moans and sighs weren’t so transparent
But living with my heart on my sleeve is a burden I can’t seem to shake,
Despite the ways I’ve tried, and the fact that you know me so well scares me,
But, I’ve come to find trust is both given and returned, if fact, it isn’t as taboo as I once thought it to be.

You should know that with you it’s different.
Because you crept up on me in a way no one ever has,
Baby, these feelings aren’t as easy to ignore a I hoped they’d be;
Harder to ignore the wetness gathering between my thighs,
How my mind wanders back to you in the most sinful of ways,
You’ll never know the countless thoughts wasted on you,
The nights where I’d lay awake and think of things that would never happen,
The same nights were my hands would roam just under my hemline, beneath my panties, touching..right…ah, yes–there, please, please, please.
My thoughts drive me wilder than you, leaving bruises on my hips, my heart.
And you’ll never know what my mind conjures when I’m asleep,
The things you do with your hands and tongue as you hold me down…
I always wake with a gasp and aches that never seem to fade,
But gods how I wish they would never stop.

You’ll never know the way I smile when you aren’t looking,
Or the way my eyes light up when I figure out a new piece to the puzzle of you.
You could never know that whatever this is,
It means so much more to me than you know,
That letting someone in is such a risk for a soul like mine,
And the fact that you’ve managed to snake your way in is not lost on me.
So here we are, stuck at the lines that can’t be crossed in this lifetime,
Yet we still linger over them, testing their boundaries and limitations,
Hoping that one day, there will be a crack in their defenses or a weakness made known,
For lovers like us to jump and grasp with everything we are,
And maybe then we can let go, be lost in the abyss of us,
Abandoned by good and bad, left to drown in the feeling.

At the Bottom of the Glass

In wine, truth is found, or so it has been told,
Yet for all the grapes and toxins, I could never be your truth.
For that was something that only you knew where to find
But, for all my attempts, the price of love was steep when it came to your heart,
Its walls and trenches built all too well and too powerful to overcome.
So I sit at the bottom, waiting to hear your voice, only once, as it calls to me,
And I will run as you beckon, eager to please what is left of the man you’ve become.
Command me to be pure, to be without all the lust and sin,
Yet I will always be condemned when it comes to you,
For the allure you have on me will pull insistently until I conceded.

Just a song away, just a tale left to be finished
You and I have never known an ending fit for what we had become.
So we fall way down into the abyss we sought in the beginning,
Happy to find our souls still remained buried in its grasp.
But for the time we stayed down here, the song remains the same,
Never left to be switched out and restrung to a beautiful melody.

No, you and I, stuck in a tale of lust and passion that will never see an ending,
But, darling, this is the price I must pay,
For I drink too much and I feel too deeply that even the Gods stop to marvel at me,
Forever roaming the possibilities of what could be and what is.
And here I knock, on a door that is no longer mine to open,
Nor is it mine to grasp, but I know the key lies somewhere in your twisted heart,
All I need it to find the right one.
For who can say when lust succumbs and passions obliterates.
If only a dream left unfilled and a love not yet matched

cynosure dalliances

To love is to feel; a conscious choice to keep going back.
Simple in its complexity: It cost me everything I would have ever been.
The panic was not finding you, a nearly relief when found.
I keep coming back, for the intensity you bring
For the dependence I’ve gained. Always enough to keep me floating amongst the clouds
(So high, I never felt myself breaking as I hit the ground).

You are the water that fills my lungs, and know its suffocating presence.
To love is to pray for the air I gasp for but never inhale.
You are always enough to tether me to the edge. Never more, never less.
Always careful to withhold the thing I need most
So I take what I can, what you’re willing to give.
And pray for the day it will be enough.
How can you love something with this much hate?

We built ourselves upon the white lies we told until they went black,
Louder and louder they grow in the silence.
You’ve long since taken my voice to object,
So I take enough to keep the high, never to overdose.
(But God I just wish I would…wish I could)
And that’s when it starts again.
We fall into a false innocence, a temporary reverie.
(You can’t save me from my demons)
I stare at the reflection, talking to a God that no longer speaks back.
Who says love is worth our sins?
How can I show them what damaged is and isn’t?

But you can’t erase what’s embedded in your soul.
To love is a feeling,to feel everything and nothing all at once
Love is choice (and the only one I ever made was choosing you)
To me it’s grown to an addiction, escalating into mind numbing, sensational ecstasy.
So when you leave, I’m left with what you didn’t give.
Talking to the devil whose sins match my own
I find comfort in him and together we search for our missing angel.
You were once my compass (A façade I used to hide)
Now abandoned, my head can only take so much, my heart completely destroyed
I feel everything and nothing all at once.
Drowning in the emotional tide.
You’d given me just enough.(Never more, never less).
I never realized I’d long since overdosed.
(But they could never know you like I do, my requiem)