It’s my birthday

It’s my birthday and I’ll smile if I want to. Throw a party, shout and scream, celebrations running rampant. Celebrating me and my life, and all the years that have passed me by.

It’s my birthday and I’ll laugh if I want to. Take so much joy in this life I was given and fun an excuse to laugh and laugh and laugh. Until tears stream down my face and I cant breathe.

It’s my birthday and I’ll cry If I want to. Shout and scream, throw a tantrum. Cry over the passing years and all they could have been, frown at every inconvenience that comes my way on my birthday.

It’s my birthday and I can do whatever I want. Laugh, cry, wallow or party. Because it’s my day, the only one I get out of the year. So it’s my birthday and I’ll celebrate the best ways I choose.

Anti muse

Oh here you are again,

My lovely anti-muse

Here to take away my inspiration, to block my thoughts as quickly as they come. Emotions run rampant but can never leave my mind, my heart.

Here you are again,

Ready to stop me again. Keep me trapped my my thoughts that you never seem to understand.

My dear dear anti-muse, why can’t I write?

Why can’t I get these thoughts out? For a special reason, for my own good? I never find the inspiration I need with you.

And maybe that’s it’s own inspiration, a muse to protect me from myself….

Dearly departed

Is it time for us to say goodbye?

Maybe for the best, I can’t stand to be here much longer.

We’ve drifted, don’t say you don’t see it, can’t feel it in your heart.

I cry, for you, for us, for what we could have been had we not lost ourselves in this.

Is it time for us to say it….to commit to these parting words?

My dearly departed. My lover, the one I called mine…this can’t continue, this can’t, I no longer know how to pretend.

Too much effort, too much fake smiles and hollowed eyes, no longer filled with affection or laughter. Too much to force ourselves to feel what we’ve lost. Or maybe never had at all.

Goodbye my lover, my dearly departed, take with you what you must, but leave some pieces of my heart as you go.

Trailing

Do you ever think of what if?

What if we never met, and I never called you mine. If we never Crossed paths, remaining strangers who smiled in passing.

What if we never fell hard? So hard we stumble, falling fast and losing pieces of ourselves on the way. What if we needed to keep those pieces ? What if that path was meant to take us down a different road of hearts ?

I fell yes, trailing A litter of broken hearts behind me. Pieces of me changed, bruised and broken, some cracked into a million pieces, and yet we still found each other.

Maybe those scattered pieces lead you to me. Or me to you. It’s hard to say when fate plays a hand.

What if, such a funny game we play. What if it all never happened. I pray we never Find out, in this life or our next.

Because fate determined you’d find me. And there is never any doubt.

Back through the woods…

Send them home,

Let them go as quickly as they come,

There’s is no space for them here.

Send them back,

Let them crawl back, dragging the shards of glass behind them. Cover the path with blood and stone.

There’s nothing here for them.

Send them away.

Let them exist anywhere else. Take with them the lies and promises. The idols them worship under the guise of love.

There was never any chance of change, any sign of reflections shifting and growing. No redemption and never real.

A home for ghosts

How to we go from here? How do we fix the cracks in our broken love…not even flecks of scattered gold can cover the damages love

How to we remedy the pain we’ve caused each other, the mess we created with the emotions that pour from ours haunts

Those ghosts that keep us up in the middle of the night. The ones that steal the gold, first in pieces, than in full. Leaving us to stare into the space they once belonged.

Maybe you just don’t know, maybe you just don’t care,

How can you sleep when these tears keep falling from my eyes.

I never know what to say to help you see, help you understand. But I shouldn’t have to.

You can’t read my mind, and I can’t expect things to go my way, the way they do in my head, because then we’d both become fools.

So where do we go from here? How can we be what each other needs when the ghosts have made their homes with us.

Permit haunts to keep us company in the middle of the night. When we both crawl through the open spaces of the once sought gold that held us in place.

my darkness calls to you

My darkness calls to you like no other,

Time and time again,
We find ourselves back again,
Under the street lights,

In between the desperate and shameful,
Under the broken neon lights,
Casting a dull glow over the bar stools we stain,
Can you hear me?

There’s nothing to fight this,
We tried…walking, running,
Crawling away
But…
I’m lonely,
And you know how to fix me without my telling,

Fix.
Such a strong words to broken hearts like ours,
But we make it work with the cracks and bite marks.
Bury yourselves in my under those broken neon lights,
And I promise to make my darkness sing your praises.