cheat

Cheat,
What a strong word,
Such a powerful word to claim,
I am, you are, and we are,
Cheaters and liars,
Victims and addicts to the power being on their minds,
Such a powerful feeling to try and move on from,
Cheats,
Liars,
I cheated, on you, on us, on what we were,
And now I’m left with this guilt and shame,
Fallen far from the high I held when I never got caught,
Was never held,
But I held to that scarlet letter proud, and prude,
Because that’s what you do when slander,
And victims of their own making attack,
Let the truths and lies mix in the town square,
Liar,
Cheat,
You cheated, on us, on me, on what is,
And you drew your scarlet letter boldly,
Making it known the shame did not come from you,
The guilt was never felt expect by those addicts,
Clinging to the power of a feeling that was created by a single moment.

those dreamless nights

It’s those dreamless nights,
The ones that I wake and black is all I see,
But I know there’s something missing,
A thought, a feeling,
Something I can’t cling too,
Or maybe I’m clinging too hard, to the one thing I can’t place,
Because it’s just out of my reach,
Faded into the darkness,
Just beyond my sight, so I lie awake,
Trying to fall asleep,
Trying to let the visions take hold once more,
But I still…can’t seem to fade away,
Those dreamless nights are the worst,
Nothing to distract me,
Nothing to keep me from staring into nothing,

And yet, my thoughts run wild, so many, vulnerable and raw,
Yet none of them can make sense of this…
I know the sun will rise,
And the light will bring a distraction to this darkened mind,
And I will cling to it, so hard that when the night settles down,
Those dreams will return to me,
And I’ll be left to wake in the middle of the night,
Staring into the dark, waiting for…waiting for something to find me the black…

Love Like Summer Storms

Trace my name in the breaths that leave you soul,
Let me breathe in the ways you love me,
And exhale the ways I need you.
Our bodies colliding like the summer storms,
Hot and heated and so full of life,
Better together than apart, the rain falls and steam rises,
Passion building, only to explode and engulf our flames,
Driving us deeper and deeper into our passion, ready to erupt in the worst ways,
And yet they feel so, so good.

We drown in each other,
Inhaling and exhaling the best and worst we have to give,
Because this is what love is meant to be,
Beautiful and lovely and willing to bend and mend the parts of us we can’t fix by
ourselves,
We are good on our own; whole in the person we built throughout the storms we’ve faced,
But together, together we create something we cannot name,
Something that leaves our souls speechless,
And I know I only find that within you and the ways your name is etched into my heart.

Freef(all-in)g

Just as the sun sets and the moon takes her place,
This night we find ourselves in is only as young as we make it,
So lets drink to chances never taken and words never spoken,
All afraid to take a leap (But they are for the faithful, and I know I am not).

We sway and dance around our feelings,
Afraid that one word can destroy this fragile pretense of friendship,
But the liquor passing my lips destroys my rational thought,
And I am left with the feelings and sensations and actions of a girl without a care.

The pounding in my head and my heart make me dance,
Laughing and spinning, light on a feeling I’ll never know,
Smiling up at the stars and her stories.
I find you under the night sky, eyes drawn up, hooded in wonder,
And we fall into an easy pattern, needing a little more to push us over the edge.

Your eyes shine in the moonlight, as we drift closer,
I know the alcohol flowing through your veins is strong,
Giving you a confidence I don’t see in the sun,
But we have so much of the night left to explore, and,
It’s not just the rum that’s making my head spin,
As you kiss me, so soundly I can hear nothing but the hangover soon to come.
I haven’t drunk enough to think this was a good idea, yet,
So lets throw back one more shot for good luck,
And hope that when we wake in the morning, our bodies will forgive for our sins.

So when the sun kisses us and we are sedated from the aftermath,
Let us know that these feelings we dove into were pure and wanted.
But once the sun is fully settled in the sky,
Sober up and watch me fly, watch me fall,
Because there is nothing more tragic than a bird who’s afraid to fly,
Scared of the dangers and wonders only found in the sky above.
Yet, to fall is have the fun when it comes to flying,
Or so a little birdie has sung to me.

some days i wish we never learned to fly

Some days I wish we never learned to soar,

Because I taste the air,
Fall through the skies without a care,

I forget…

I forget about the world below me,

So high, on this feeling,
So far above the clouds,

The world below doesn’t matter.

You don’t matter.

And some days I wish I never met you,
Never knew the heights we would reach,
Or how the clouds felt between our fingers,

But I can only say this now,

Because you left me free falling,
No longer clutching your hands,

I fall,

Down and down,

Never knowing when the ground will eat me up,
Just knowing how it feels to soar and plummet all in the same breath.

 

each poison

Each poison has its place,
Some make me loopy,
Grinning from ear to ear,
Slurring words of soft spoken poetry,
Comparing you to the sun in the middle of the night…

Some toxins make me crossed eyed,
Angry, sad, confused and the words that spit out my mouth,
They’re harsh and clipped,
Loaded and ready to fire at the first attack,
Never caring to think they could never be taken back…

Some make me hazy,
As though truly drunk on the drugs swimming in my veins,
I walk daze and lightheaded,
A dreamlike buzz, I blink you into my orbit,
High on the touch of you, of your lips on mine, of another’s fingers trailing…

Others make me silent,
Stealing the words out my mouth,
Silent as the grave,
Because there is nothing more to say to you,
If you weren’t listening to me before,
The solemn graves in my heart won’t capture your attention…

my grudges (set afire)

My grudges keep me warm at night,
I cling to them as something that I can hold,
Because they seem to be the only thing that’s real in this distance between me and you,
Are we so focused on the lens that we can only see the smudges?
They’re that distracting that it blinds us to everything else,
And we use it as an excuse to never change
So I guess we’re only left with the passion we used to chase,
And the anger we create in the mess we created for ourselves,
I’m tired of going to sleep angry,
But it seems to be the only thing that keeps this love alive,
For it’s the only thing that creates sparks,
This anger, this fire,
Reminds us of the times we ignited each other,
In things others than rage fires,
Do we have anything left to cling to that’s worth saving?
Because from the ashes it’s hard to see what kept this fire burning for so long…