The effects of liquor have never eluded me until I met you,
More and more my need falls just short of that one thing,
I only want to feel the effects of the liquor coursing through my veins,
But its slur and haze holds an appeal in a different way then what it used to,
Now, it seems, the alcohol doesn’t grip me in the dark intensity it used to,
Rather it seems light, bubbly and full of a feeling I’m too scared to give a name.
Now, it’s not the only thing that makes me feel drunk and in love with the words I write,
Now, the glass isn’t the first thing I reach for to help me write, letting me swallow my words with so much more ease.
Now, it’s not the only thing that can make me smile at the stupid thoughts I find myself thinking,
Mostly about you, but I’d kept them at bay for so long its unusual to think them so freely and frivolously,
Is it wrong to feel less and less guilty when I’m this happy?
Yet, nothing can compare to the way you make me feel each moment spent with you,
And this hazy, sex feeling alludes to something that I still haven’t seemed to grasp,Sinking like stone, falling from each high you’ve placed me on,
But, I only want to reach out for your hand.
Only want you to be the one to catch me upon my descent.
And these feelings, these emotions that are too complicated and raw for me to give a name, they escape me in the moments I need them most.
Isn’t it funny that the words are always on the tip on my tongue?
Yet I can’t let my lips form them to tell you how much you mean.
They escapes me in the worst possible way, ways that make me question what it would be like without you…
(And those thoughts bring me to my knees, my heart breaking in ways I can’t piece together)
Because all I want is to make you mine, all I want is to keep you in this bed,
Never letting reality touch our sanctuary
But I know fantasies don’t have a place in our reality,
Not when our reality feels so much like one anyways,
And I can’t help but to smile, so freely and lovingly, it’s shocking for a heart like mine.
And I wish everyone would stop telling me they see it all over my face,
Hate the way my heart soars and my cheeks ache,
(I’d never admit that its my favorite feeling in the world next to your love)
So while the effects of liquor no longer hold me in the ways they used to,
I can’t seem to let go of this new drunken feeling with you.
This hazy, sex feeling that keeps me enthralled with the essence of you.