coping

Why do you concern yourself with them,
With her, with them, with him,
They have no place in your life anymore,
And with good reason,
And still,
You find ways to check in,
Ways to rewind yourself to a time when they mattered,
Remind yourself of situations that no longer require your opinion.
The stories you create, the shows you put on, on all this wasted talent and failed
endeavors.

I know it’s hard baby,
These things, those people that drive you crazy,
And you know your coping mechanisms aren’t doing you any favors,
Yet, you run back to them as though they can fix you.
And maybe you think they do,
Think they truly can,
But those temporary fixes, that one hit,
Is only undoing everything you set in place,
Holding you back, from what?

I can’t tell you,
But I know you can be better,
Or…I hope you can,
Because these thoughts and habits are addicting,
Habits can be broken,
Cycles change as often as the season,
And I wish you could learn the damage you’re causing to your soul,
Learn now baby girl,
Because they aren’t worth it,
They don’t have to drag you down to their hell,
I know baby, you drink and self medicate to drown them out,
But their storms are only as strong as you allow,
And once you learn that,
I can’t wait to see the outcome.

do angels fall?

What happens to the Angels who aren’t so pure?
When their wings become tainted,
Dipped in the darkness of sin,
Or, something a bit more intoxicating,
That really pulls them in,
Making them question everything they once believed,
Just like that first hesitation to follow the crowd,

Angels aren’t met to float forever,
Or are they?
But, even they must have their limits,
Everyone has limits,
Even the almighty,
Couldn’t handle the disappointment of his first two creations,
Casting them out in an attempt to teach them,
Only for them to adapt and learn that every story had two sides…

He must be lonely,
That angel who fell,
No one to confide in and no one to lean against,
But that’s the price of pride,
So while you cling to yours,
Remember it’s what keeps you questioning,
Maybe even sane,
But who’s to say you’ll retain it when you fall?
Because Angels can’t live a little, without feeling the consequences…

All angels have the capability to fall darling,
Just ask the first,
I’m sure he’ll be more than happy to share his descent,
But remember to not be too sympathetic,
He’ll latch onto to that feeling,
And drag you further and further down,
And make you love every second of it.

one by one

Fall in line,
Watch us fall in sync and right back out,
You should see your face,One by one,
The way it opens up to t
e unexpected and anticipated,
One by one,
I watch the faces fall,
In line, out of sync,
But all with the same expression,
Put your cigarette out on me slowly,
Let the burn settle before you pretend to realize what you’ve done.
I’ll watch and wait,
Knowing you let everyone see the evidence,And watching your face fall in disbelief when I spit in it,
Right back at you;
I breathe that second hand smoke in,
Only to blow it into your eyes,
And laughing when they water,
But that isn’t me,
No matter how I try to make it be,
Too intoxicated to aim it,
I’ll settle for the blurred vision,
And sloppy apology kisses,
Waiting until it doesn’t make sense,
And for you to fall in my line,
One by one,
Face after face.

weaving that golden thread…

The drain from you,
The words, the lies the create,
The truths they mask in them,
And it pours out of you,
Because you lack control and need to be heard,
Need to have strangers and lack of concern all about you,
Spinning your golden thread to weave a story only you can control.
But that’s not how life works Rumple,
Each tale has two sides,
And the more lies you create and weave,
The bigger they get the harder you’ll fall darling,
So I watch you spin and spin,
Create the narrative you wish the world would see,
Let your lies create something of a false masterpiece,
And I’ll laugh when your hard work combusts,
Taking you and everything you spun down in ashes,
They say liquid gold is worth so much,
And knowing you you’ll chase down any chase to be heard,
To claim your self victimization and self deluded innocence.
Darling,
I cant to see what will crawl out from that.

thoughts that stir

If you look for mistakes, you’re bound to find them,
You go looking for the wrong,
You’re bound to find something you didn’t want,
And you can’t blame anyone else but yourself,
Yet some days,
You wish you’d find something, anything,
Because than you’d at least know you weren’t crazy for thinking these thoughts,
Those thoughts,
That drive you crazy and create doubt and shame and,
Well, you know the thoughts,
Know them so vividly,
Can’t stop them,
But do you every try?
Or have you clung to them as a form of comfort,
Fight or flight,
Your wings have already formed and your eyes always drift towards the sky.
Those thoughts,
Why do you think them?

sugar coated words

You just don’t get it,

The need to put it down,
The fall our of my mouth,

Write themselves onto the pages I bleed on,
And you can’t begin to grasp the power they have over me.

You won’t learn,

Because I won’t teach you,

This is mine all alone,
I refuse to share the feeling without anything,
And that’s how it will always be,

Because I tried,
To teach, to show, opened the pen and let the ink flow freely,
And the words that came were false,
Coated in the sugar we snort to feel alive,
And I know I could never again bury the feeling.

You don’t get it,

And that’s perfect for me.

3:42

I always think of you when the clock flashes 3:42,
I can’t exactly put my thoughts on why,
Can’t think of a fond memory attached to the sentiment,
But I know it’s there,
Waiting to be known,
Every time I look up and its 3:42.

I wish there was more,
To 3:42 other than a faded memory,
Maybe,
That deep connection or intense passion,
That thing that would explain why,
Why I think of you this way,
And no, it’s not everyday,
I don’t watch the clock,
Counting the second until it reaches you,
But,
If I happen to catch a glimpse,
You’re the first and last thought I have in that minute.
Every time I look up at see 3:42.