I taped together a broken heart,

I taped together a broken heart, and you shattered it with one glance,
I wish I saw you coming,
I would have use more tape,
Maybe even something stronger,
Like gorilla glue,
Anything to keep you from the parts of me I shelter from the world,
Because you were a tornado,
A hurricane and tsunami all in one,
My mind and heart and soul could no bear the damaged you unleashed,
I shattered, heart mind and body,
I wish I saw the clouds brewing in the distance,
Wish I were able to recognize the calm within the brewing storm…

greedy (for your poison)

It’s crazy, the way I miss you when you aren’t there,
When I’m the reason you aren’t here,
But I guess that what it means to love the toxicity
We create it together,
What a beautiful tragedy,
But keep feeding me that poison,
And I promise to drink it greedily,
It only makes me miss you more when you aren’t here.

forgive

I wish I were, was, more forgiving on myself
The things I whisper in the dark,
You would cry if you heard them
They’re cruel, harsh and mean,
For no other reason than to prove a point,
But I guess that’s what you were to me,
A lesson learned, a point made,
And I have to learn the hard way,
As I always seem to do,
To figure you out you were toxic in every sense,
And I was weak for letting you trample over my heart,
Weak, maybe not, maybe…
maybe lonely,
Maybe scared no one could love me the way you claimed you did,
Hell, was this all that I was meant to feel,
Meant to think I deserved,
Maybe…
Or maybe you were a lesson learned, a point made,
Of the things I never want to go back to
Of the nature of forgiveness…

gold outta ash

Darling, never let him walk away without giving back the pieces he kept,
Make sure you keep tabs,
Because they love to ring you back on the wrong number,
Play the voicemail and laugh as the speak nonsense into the mic,
But it always has you wondering,
What they actually meant to say,
If you had been face to face,
If you could touch their face one more time,
But
He chose to walk away,
Chose to leave you in the mess you both created,
And he wonders why you still hit him up,
Craving the parts he took with him,
Wanting them back as easily as you gave them
But
He’ll never know what that’s like,
Will he?
Darling, let him walk away,
You don’t deserve him staying,
But you damn well make sure you can recreate the treasures he stole,
To make better, to create gold out of ash,
And have him call you again and again and again,
Until that mailbox is full of sorry monologues from him.

 

face forward

Nothing to look back to,
So I make my way forward,
To where, I can’t say, I don’t know,
But I’ll now when I get there,
Ancient forces at work,
Though none know the boundaries I’m willing to break to be free,
Against the currents, and all the odds,
The blazes that rise up with the sea,
I’ll fight to be free,
Of you, of this past that clings to my shadow,
Of the wrongs that keep my mind racing,
And the ones that bring me to my knees in shame,
Each time, I get a little lighter; it penetrates my shadow
Making the wisps flicker, dancing to catch me,
Each step brings me further and further,
Until I look back,
And it’s nothing like what I was expecting,
Nothing there for me to recognize
So I face forward, breath in,
Until I no longer have to fight each step forward.

justify (in the name of love)

What’s it like to know the you let the one get away,
How do you justify everything, knowing I was it?
What do you tell people, I wonder?
I was crazy…I was insane, and just not you’re type,
Do you tell those closest to you the real reasons you fucked up?
Or do you pretend we didn’t fit into your fantasy of forever after.
I do, I pretend you were my ideal person,
I justified everything wrong you did, in the name of love,
Because I thought I was the one,
Dumb, stupid and I know, wrong place wrong time clearly,
But you let me fade away in the wind,
A piece of lint flicked off your shoulder,
The drops of water the rain leaves on your windshield,
Cast away caused the cloud in your vision,
And maybe that was it,
Maybe I was bad for you that you had to clear me out of your system,
But there I go again,
Justifying you in the name of love.

you’re not worth it

So sick and tired,
Go move on, for the love of who ever is listening,
No one is interested in your tired attempts of sabotage anymore,
I made peace with the demons in my head,
And you haven’t held a place there is years,
So why do you always pop up like a cockroach,
Crawling and squirming around, waiting for your chance to jump,
But this is done; I’m over this,
Crawl back into the depth of some place where someone actually cares,
Because your games no longer work here,
Keep your insanity locked up in your own head,
So sick and tired of you,
But I breathe easy knowing I still beat you at your own game.