a force of nature

Look at the white lights that dance upon the waters edge,
Reflected in your tired eyes, they appear and disappear with ever blink.
They say the feelings and desires are here to stay, yet once the ripples subside,
You’re gone like a ghost lost in the mist, faded in the waters surface.
We will never be the same as the night we found each other,
Fresh and free with wide-eyes, innocent in so many ways;
Just as the sun will never shine less than when the moon dangles in its sky,
We fade into each other, bleeding and sinking into a never-ending horizon.
But time has a funny way of altering everything we once found comfort in,
And our routines are bound by the nature of an ever-changing universe.

This feeling is meant to be natural and beautiful and pure,
Yet I can never seem to cling to the feeling others openly praise,
Perhaps it is thanks to you, a force of nature upon my sheltered mind and heart,
Perhaps, it is thanks to a careful upbringing, lacking sunlight and growth,
But I suppose we will never be able to pin the blame on one thing alone.
Just as the weather is constantly shifting,
Altering the landscapes that it wreaks havoc on,
We clashed and raged as two natural disasters only could,
Each hoping to out damage the other, a game neither would win.

Trying to move this mountain is proving more difficult than we thought,
We had always been arrogant, believing us to be greater than what we were.
Oh pride, what have you turned us into.
And the ghost that once haunted me each moonless night,
Has become our shadow, trapped in the peak of the sun,
Steady and calm, fatal in its underestimation.

So we find each other in every turmoil and façade,
Waiting for the other to cave and be consumed,
But if there is anything we have learned over the years,
It is to keep our horizons clear when we have each other in our sight
For the twisters and thunderous storms that come from our unions have proven to be
catastrophic in more ways than one

Missing a You I Never Knew

You and I met too soon in this life to be anything but distant tale,
Lost among the battles and trials of a forgotten war.
Our story had been recorded times and times before,
Each ending slightly different and each battle fought for different reasons,
But every outcome was that of a love lost, heart broken, a better half vanished.

I miss the way we used to talk,
Hours and hours of meaningless conversation,
Unburdened by the feelings and chaos of a worrisome heart.
I miss the way you would talk to only me,
About things that never seemed important but were so much more,
When we were blinded by our innocence and a fascination of this rediscovered feeling.
I miss the smile that only I would see, missing you, who I would never know.
I miss the easy comfort I found in your presence,
Never worrying for too long about thing I couldn’t control, and I miss
The gestures and feelings I only entertained for you.

We had conquered this empire once before, maybe in another life,
But the times have changed and the battles have grown deadlier.
And for all our skills and armor and tactics,
We fell victim yet again to the surprises of guerilla warfare.
Our kings have been moved far too many times along this chess board,
Our chiefs could not have seen this coming, nor could our best warriors,
So all we have left are the fallen that refused to succumb to the battlefield,
And the few lucky that escaped deaths scythe.
But still, we continue to fight against a foe that will never give,
And both sides have grown ragged and tired from a constant front.

I miss the feelings we once shared,
The little things that faded until they were all but gone,
Have we gotten what we deserved? The rejection of a bound neglected for so long?
My heart wishes there could be more than what the map has laid out for us,
But the terrain is unpredictable and rough, fingers linked, but barely clasped,
So only skilled warriors chance everything to cross it,
But by the time they battle their way through, it has changed once again,
Leaving behind the brave souls that dared to take a chance.

the reality of you

Oh darling, it’s not the song that makes you cry,
It’s the memories that come with the lyrics,
The words have no meaning until they are strung together,
Reminding you of a time when things were easier and carefree.
So as you sit in the car, singing out of key and eyes closed,
Wishing for a time when those memories weren’t a distant dream,
Remember that the memories are fond because they are just that,
And the things of the past are always better kept there.

You never felt the need to let the words wash over you until you are trapped
In the confides of these four walls, in the moving vehicle that keeps you grounded,
And it is in these moments that you can reflect,
On how it is that you’ve made it to this point,
Through the beautiful, the sad, the ugly and the glorious.
All moments that can be captured within a 3-minute song,
Of words that would never affect you outside this vulnerability,
But the music washes over you, calming your mind and racing your heart,
For it is everything you could never say out loud,
And you never will, because this lyrical reverie is yours alone, and,
It is been said better by the crooning and melancholic voice behind the stereo,
Echoing your thoughts and feelings into simpler words.
So you listen on repeat for 100s of times,
Never growing sick or tired of the same old words floating around you mind,
Because this is how you relate to the world,
And it is because of this song that you are able to escape the reality of yourself.

My Timeless Memory

If tonight it all we have left, drink one more bottle of wine with me,
And lets dance under the light of a star filled sky,
With the moon following in our footsteps, pulled by gravity,
Holding each other for whatever we are worth at that moment.
As our hearts flutter in sync, in time, with the music of the night,
Let us not dwell on the sorrow of goodbyes and last impressions.
Forever seems so far away when you’re in my arms,
So lets stop the clock and hold our promises to the hour’s hand,
As it stalls a minute past eternity, lingering on the 12 o’clock hour.

I’ve only got a second until you fade in front of me,
And our timing had never been in sync with our hearts desires,
But we made the best of a fucked up game of chance,
Coming out with so much more than we could have hoped.
By now, time is wondering what we have stolen from it,
(Because time is only important when it’s running out)
And she is vengeful thing, holding onto dying wishes and stolen breaths.
So goodbye to you, my timeless memory,
A lover, a friend, an enemy torn from the depths of my heart,
This is our final song; know that we made the best of it, and
Maybe one day we can dance on the moon without the fear of gravity pulling us apart.

This Run Down Bar

Listen to the words I sing into the mic, sensual and desperate,
Feeling good and different, knowing it can’t be the alcohol warming your veins.
These words, they will capture you in a trance, letting you sway,
But don’t sway too far to one side,
Because than you will no longer be able to feel what I do.

Love is but a background noise, in this run down little bar,
First you are not sure what you hear,
Words mumbled and lyrics sung on a key to low to be heard the first time.
Then, you are curious, ears perked as you strain to listen,
Not knowing that once you’ve heard her the siren song,
You would never be able to go without.

It’s not like the relationships you watch through rose-colored lens,
Scripted and written with just enough tragedies to be romantic.
But I still crave the feeling I’ve never been able to define.

The chaos in the beauty of this thing called love was always hard to hear,
Few could ever amount to something as timeless and composed,
But, now, she has become an all-consuming thing,
Every thought, every action and everything is because of her,
And you struggle to find who you are without her,
(But you adore what she has turned you into,
Smart mouth and ever feeling and emotional to a fault).
So let’s stop thinking about the timing of it all.
And just know that we made the best out of what little time we had.

The Road Always Traveled

Love. This feeling that has no perfect definition,
The feeling that is both a blessing and curse,
The emotion that is trapped by the way things once were, and never will be
It is the thing that Gods crave and humans seek for a lifetime,
It is the making of timeless song, woven in the grounds of the Earth,
Waiting for the day when it will be simple, another rational feeling to the mind,
But dear, that day will never see the light of day.

I’ve rode this path dozens of times,
Each time taking one more wrong turn than the last,
My heart and me should know better by now,
But we never learn the rules of an ever-changing road,
Blowing through stop signs, throwing caution over the many bridges we’ve crossed.
But these feelings and emotions that we connect and trace over,
They are like the tide, here for a night, gone by the sunrise.

My heart and I grow fond of the feelings we created,
And, oh darling, it not the feelings I’m afraid of
Emotions and I have too much history to be disregarded.
(My heart has lived so many versions of a life, one thousand times over,
And in each we discover a new definition of forever,
Built on the feelings a heart must discover through a life lived.)
No, I am no more of afraid of falling in love as I am breathing,
Both painful dependent on another, both necessary for my survival and hers,
But, falling out of love, that stops us cold.

To give so much of who I am, to someone who does not think like me,
The fear that one day we will not be what each other needs,
And the feelings that once burns our hearts with fireworks and passion and love,
Becomes nothing more than an ember too burnt to light a fire.
So we guard ourselves, my heart and me,
Never letting one rule completely for too long,
Because the day when all these feelings we feel become rational.
Is the day my heart dies and my mind becomes a slave to the way things once were.

Freef(all-in)g

Just as the sun sets and the moon takes her place,
This night we find ourselves in is only as young as we make it,
So lets drink to chances never taken and words never spoken,
All afraid to take a leap (But they are for the faithful, and I know I am not).

We sway and dance around our feelings,
Afraid that one word can destroy this fragile pretense of friendship,
But the liquor passing my lips destroys my rational thought,
And I am left with the feelings and sensations and actions of a girl without a care.

The pounding in my head and my heart make me dance,
Laughing and spinning, light on a feeling I’ll never know,
Smiling up at the stars and her stories.
I find you under the night sky, eyes drawn up, hooded in wonder,
And we fall into an easy pattern, needing a little more to push us over the edge.

Your eyes shine in the moonlight, as we drift closer,
I know the alcohol flowing through your veins is strong,
Giving you a confidence I don’t see in the sun,
But we have so much of the night left to explore, and,
It’s not just the rum that’s making my head spin,
As you kiss me, so soundly I can hear nothing but the hangover soon to come.
I haven’t drunk enough to think this was a good idea, yet,
So lets throw back one more shot for good luck,
And hope that when we wake in the morning, our bodies will forgive for our sins.

So when the sun kisses us and we are sedated from the aftermath,
Let us know that these feelings we dove into were pure and wanted.
But once the sun is fully settled in the sky,
Sober up and watch me fly, watch me fall,
Because there is nothing more tragic than a bird who’s afraid to fly,
Scared of the dangers and wonders only found in the sky above.
Yet, to fall is have the fun when it comes to flying,
Or so a little birdy has sung to me.