“I can’t control my feelings, but…”
The things we can’t control always seem to the be the things that cause us the most strife,
The grief we feel that comes form the overwhelming feeling of helplessness,
The utter feeling of not knowing, of wishing and wanting, for things that seem just of out our reach,
Those are the worst emotions we all must feel in order to be a player in the game of life, but,
Isn’t it funny who we let control us?
How we let certain emotions and people and things reign over us, like they deserve power?
But that should never be the case,
I want to be free of the emotional burden,
And you do not get to reign over my like my lord, my king, or some person that has control over my thoughts and feelings,
Because why should we ever let anyone have that much power over us?
We are the makers of our own happiness, or so I’ve heard,
And maybe I’m tired of people telling me its okay to feel deeply, to love freely,
Because what good does it bring…
Heartbreak? A memory of a better time; a better version of who I once was?
Or does it give us more material to carve out a beautiful, yet broken soul, mixed with the wants and needs of a love that will never be met.
Repair, reset and love again.
Either way, what’s happened is and the will be has yet to come,
And living on this hollowed prayer can only sustain a broken sinner for so long,
So while I can’t seem to control anything, let me at least control my thoughts,
Because a broken heart can be fixed, if given time and a strong sedative,
But a broken soul…not even time can repair the damage of the things we can’t control.