To Stare At The Sun

I resent the night, knowing she is a force of nature,
One the gods fear and man would crumble beneath,
Just for the blessing of a new dawn,
Of a promise built once upon a false sunrise.
I look to those around me,
Waiting to be blessed by the murky waters and the promises of a false God,
And know that we await the same fate
Watching as the sun fades into the sky, and the earth grows dark.
As mud dulls the moon, reflected in the shadows on the water,
There are no stars to be found on a night like this,
Guided by the darkness, it is no wonder many of us fall astray.

When you appear, you look like a lover of my youth,
Shrouded in sex and hope and a thrill of danger.
And I breathe in the sigh that falls from my lips.
I will ask you for a patience I can no longer give,
And I hope to drown in forgiveness only you can grant.
But you cannot give either, and let you fingers roam my body.
I try to think, to form a sense of thought,
But the embers have ignited my core, and all I can think of is you.
Your touch, your lips and the things you might do to me hidden in the darkness.
And the people stare, yet I yield into your lust, driven by pure need alone.
I cannot explain why I come to you each night after, but you know the answer.
For my body speaks what my mind is unable to.

Between Heaven and Hell, I can no longer tell the difference between the two.
For why would a god create something so sinful in ecstasy?
But the gods have a cruel sense of humor,
And I play into their hands as easily as I fall into your bed.
So while we fall into a wicked habit that others around begin to feed into,
I grow arrogant and powerful, fueled by the need, the seductiveness.
As our corrupt love takes hold, I fall fast and hard.
Knowing that your sin would be too powerful for grace alone,
I sacrifice more than I should, and give away my heart,
In the hopes you will grow to love an emotion blessed by the gods.
But you grow tired of my fondness and devotion.
And the congregation develops a need for a new immoral thrill.
So I find myself right back a the edge of that powerful force,
Unaware that I have fallen to the thing I once resented.
She has your love, your loyalty, and your dependence.
Where I have the memory of a night filled with lustful abandonment.
And perhaps this is where I begin to kneel at the muddy waters,
Praying to a false god who whispered promise a new dawn,
Only to be trapped in your never-ending twilight.


When She Kisses You I Hope You See Stars

She shines like the sun, bright and beautiful, but deadly to look to closely to,
Glowing in the dim lighting, as fragile as the problems of the world,
Waiting to be exploited and mocked for a false sense of gain.
Yet you are drawn to her out of a familiarity I can’t grasp,
With a need I cannot begin to understand.
They say the hearts of young lovers are yet to be understood,
That poets and artists cannot capture the beauty of something so unearthly.
But all they need is to look at her, and they will understand the unnatural appeal.
She is a beauty I can never hope to be,
And I sink into the shadows because my shine cannot compare.
I want a love that is able to move mountains and shatter hearts,
But love is too much of a bitch to ever intentionally cause that kind of damage,
And she will spite me in name alone, just to prove a point.
Yet your sun shines brighter, unexpected and envious,
Because as much as I wish to capture your attention like she,
I can only hold an ember to the wildfire she has started.
So when she kisses you, I hope you see stars, because you deserve nothing less,
And I hope the fates gather around to grant your every wish
Because a sun that shines brighter and more beautiful than I,
Deserves stars that galaxies revolve around, waiting to give their all.


He was the storm that rocked the ship I happened to be passing by on,
And the waves took me under in one breath.
I fought the currents, too afraid to be pulled under,
But he held tight, caressing my hair as I sank further into the waters.
So when the light hit my eyes, and I spit out the sand,
The view from the shores shocked me.
No longer did I see the mess inside the storm,
But rather I felt the calm waters gently lapping against my feet:
As florescent clouds float among a never-ending horizon.
So distracted by them I saw not the remains of the ship I once sought passage on.
Its broken sail and shattered boards bobbing along the shore.

The beaches are beautiful, white and surreal,
So when he finds me on the shores, I am as sun kissed as he needs.
He said to find peace upon the newly formed beach,
For what I had once thought paradise was no longer safe,
And the love I felt for him was no longer real, the shores not what they seemed.
So I broke the branches down and built a raft,
To sail away from the pretense of a dream I drifted to.
Try as I might, the currents won’t let me leave,
Like sharks circling blood that had risen from the depths.
The boat rocks unsteadily in the coming waves.

He was pure and corrupt; his sins outshines my faith,
But he’s the only prayer I’ve got on this boat wadding in the sea.
So I’ll pray to a God that knows my fears and hopes,
Hoping they will reach him from island I’ve succumb to,
Where my dreams and hallucinations have taken form-
To remind me of the rough waves ahead.
So just when the reality of the situation settles,
I wake to the swaying of a beaten ship and a broken window
To a storm beginning to brew, trapped in a never-ending horizon.

This Gift of Blood & Beauty

It is a gift of beauty and blood, though I’ve no name for it.
It is a feeling too weak to be branded as love,
Yet, too intense to be a simple infatuation in my mind.
So I settle for feeling you, in every form you come.
Is it possible to be intoxicated on a feeling?

As sunsets fade into sunrises, my eyes roll to the back of my head
My control gone, my heart wild, but I’m too high to come back down now.
You lips sing notes onto my skin, and I struggle to hit the notes with raspy moans.
When the song comes to an end,  the notes are too high, you watch me fall apart,
Under a flame that burns others from my thoughts,
And spreads like wildfire across my chest.

So when the magic fades and the stars dim from behind my eyes,
There are so many things I want to tell you, but my lips have sealed themselves shut.
So I let my body speak my mind, and pray you understand the secrets she sighs out.
I’ve known the flavor of your brand liquor,
Enough to chase, enough to gasp,
As your kiss burns what’s left of the air in my lungs,
Another has never left me speechless until you.
I want you to know I whisper you name alone,
As you tongue unfolds riddles from my skin.

So I let you whisper dirty things into my ear,
And I’ll let my imagination take me to a place of sweet nothing.
Perhaps a feeling is the best it will ever be
Just this moment of ecstasy between two bodies, two souls.
But know there is no need to question my intentions,
And do not let my mind speak for my heart
Because the two can only seem to agree on one thing;
That this gift of beauty and blood has no name but yours.

Siren’s Call

It’s 2AM and all I can think of is your hands,
They hold my body to yours, trap in its warm embrace,
And all I can think is this is what it must be like to drown.
You think you know what’s waiting for you at the bottom when you jump,
And then panic sets in as your feet hit the waters surface.
After that, you’re caught between self-preservation and a perverse sense of danger.
It’s hard to distinguish the two when I’m with you, so for now I float on the edge.
Waiting for the waves to crash and pull me under.

The tides never stay the same, and the current changes course,
And I find myself back on your shores, soaking up the sun, under the cliff.
The first jump is always the worse,
(So it’s no surprise that I find myself leaping over again and again.)
For something that comes with such ease, I still manage to smile at my hesitation.
(It’s never easy to blindly give yourself to someone)
I pray the waters to wash away the sins of lovers, both past and new.
(And let your whispered hallelujahs soak in my mind)

It’s 4AM and I’ve wasted the night in my thoughts.
I feel your breath warm against my neck,
But your hands have not left my body,
And I think this is what it must be like to drown–
At peace, drifting off to sleep, letting the water carry my heart to you.
I never meant to fall, but the waters calm demeanor lured me in
So together we float along, seeing just how long we can hold our breath.

Shattered Galaxies

We were on top of the world before the sun fell from the sky.
And with only the moon to guide us, we stumbled into the dark
Capturing the stars and their faded glory,
And they burn for a love that will never be theirs,
Seeing as the moon would never be able to hold the sun.

So when the stars have finally crossed their lovers,
Only to be lost in the night sky, falling in stride with the moon and her affair.
When the sun and moon consummate their love, the stars will burst
And the space they reside with be filed with the light of an all consuming love,
If only for a moment, until the world fades to chaos,
For a love so powerful is not meant to last long,
And it will burn with beauty that can only end in tragedy.
Out of the beautiful tragedy came you,
Covered in the faded light and honey wine,
Left to pick up the pieces of the broken affair.
And so we began our own story in time, waiting for the stars to realign and steady.
As the sun rebuilt the world we thought we lost,
You came to me with stars in your eyes and the space to create.
Imprisoning me in the orbit of your sweet words and blinding passion.

As we sway under the pressure of the gravity and simplicity,
The wine on your tongue intoxicates mine.
These mingled words lace my heart with a toxic love,
Your kisses are like the galaxies, waiting to burst,
Swallowing the sun and moon, leaving me to see the stars as they are.
Your touch leaves bruises that dance and shine like night,
Pieces of your universe embedded along my skin.
So wake me up when we can’t sing the lyrics anymore,
And all we’re left with are abrasions of love from last night.
When I woke, I finally knew how the moon felt,
To have the sun just within her grasp, but the cycle begins again,
And our love fell like the shattered galaxies left by those before us.

A Wine too Bitter

You’ll find me waiting in the shadows of the hotel bar,
Reminiscing memories that haven’t left my mind,
Burned with the ashes of what remains of the love I held for you.
You look like the promise of a ‘what if’ and the anxiousness of an unknown tomorrow,
Like the ember that lite when you first touched me.
You look as beautiful as the day I told you I loved you,
But we are far from the children we used to be and our eyes have lost their innocence.
So we talk like old friends, never straying far from reality.
And I wish you would whisper to me and kiss my lips,
If only to know I still held a false sense of power over your heart.
And it’s nice to believe we will never get older,
But life has a funny way of reminding us that we are far from immortal,
Gracing us with broken hearts and scars from those lovely memories,
Leaving us to reform the pieces into an already faded puzzle.

I know it breaks your heart to know I’ve fallen for my freedom,
Cutting ties with lost lovers and promises of a forsaken future,
No, we never had more than the nights of broken love made in your car,
And I never held onto you to find solace,
So you lash out with passionate delusions, and I answer with obvious indifference,
As I sip a wine too bitter on my tongue, I listen to our lies and embellishments.
Silently laughing at how unsophisticated we’ve become.
Our lips tinted with those promises of what ifs and anxious secrets.

So baby, it was nice to see you after so many years,
But life awaits us outside the doors of our enclosed booth,
And I hope the best for you and your new life,
(Though I think the wine had more influence over my words than my heart,)
I kiss your cheek as we prepare to leave each other once more.
Filled with a newfound sense of comfort,
I wonder into the street with a smile,
Never once glancing behind me to see your lingering eyes