hazy dreams

I wish I could wake you up,
Help you to see life past this dream,
This fantasy you created in the wake of your sad reality,

I wish I could show you,
The way my reality is perceived,
But, to my eye, beholden of the truth,
Or maybe, your truth,
You see no need to awake from the visions that blissfully flash across your mind,

I wish I could show you,
Maybe had I gotten the chance too,
Without the influence of others,
Without your hands ever leaving your side,
I could have made you see the visions I see,
The reality that calls me to wake,
Eyes open and ready to soak in the images,
Visions so blissful in their own right you never dream of waking yourself.
Now isn’t that the most blissful ignorance you’ve dreamed.

tell me

Tell me,
What is it about me that makes you love me?
Because some days I can’t see it,
When I’m at my lowest,
When I push you away to spite myself, to spite us,

How can you still see the love that shines?
How can you repeat I love you to me like a mantra?
I try, I struggle on these days,

Because my head is ready to fight, to argue,
But my heart melts with the sweet words that pour out of that mouth,
Devil in disguise, my angel in the shadow,

Tell me,

How can you love me when I’m at my lowest?
When all I can think of is making it out alive, with or without you?

glimmering shades

Oh, I see you in the way the light fades,
And I love thoughts that fall into place,
Because I’ll never be able to stop,
You’ve changed,
And so have I,
The years have been good to both of us,
Distance proved more a blessing than a fault,
And I can see the glimmer of that light behind your eyes,
Of what we once were,
Of how we could be,
Don’t close your eyes now baby,

The stars only fade when you find a false light to guide you,
But I wishing on those that have fallen,
Because we can’t go back to who we were,
It’s not fair,

To the people we struggled to become,
To the ones who make us better,
And that light will always find me in the darkest of places,
But I no longer cling to it when times get tough,
Or when I need a body to keep me comfort through the long nights.

in anger

I wish you could take it back,
The things we say when we’re mad,
Because once heard, I know they exist,
Our anger brings these words to life,
And not even death will make me forget,

I can’t escape them
And I love you,
God I do,
But how do we say these things if we’re suppose to love,
How can hate find it’s way into our hearts,
When we worked so hard to give way to love?
But, maybe this isn’t love,
Or maybe this isn’t the version of love we built it up to be.
Because once said we can’t take it back,
Is it true,
The things you, I, we say in anger?

Or maybe, this is what we need to heal one another,
The things we say in anger, the words that only come out in struggle and anxiety,
Are the things that we need to fix in ourselves,
And when that becomes to heavy of a burden,
We turn to each other,
Asking silently for the help we cannot give ourselves,

And those are the things I wish we could truly hear in our anger.

space and haunts, demons and poison

I would give you everything,
But it was taken from me long ago,
My demons, my phantoms,
They take whatever they can get their hands on,
And I give them whatever they need to keep the hunger at bay.
I want to be your everything
But you could never be mine,
I have too many haunts that keep me up in the night,
They call and I crawl,
Eager to sustain their cravings and quiet the wails that keep me haunted.
I’ll never know how to live without them
They made me,
And destroy me in the same breath,
But that’s the price of love,
Well, my love I suppose,
Space and haunts, demons and poison,
Which will pull you under faster?
Bottoms up, they claw at me eagerly,
Anxious to find out which will destroy me first.

Podcasts

Hey guys, so i recently had this amazing opportunity to be a a featured speaker on a podcast! It was an amazing experience, and I’ve never done one before, but hey, first time for everything! So if you want to hear me read one of my pieces spoken out loud by me, too much for words. Give this a listen! Or even just to hear so many other amazing poets, speakers and artists!

here is the link:

Poetry Slam: Too Much For Words

Huge, huge, thank to the lovely Natalia, as it was her podcast, which is amazing and you should definitely check it out! Seriously guys, check her out! She features a ton of amazing poets and truly wants to have them be heard!!

 

canvas

You’re eight,
Watching your mom put on make up,
Covering her pale checks with rose,
Outlining her eyes, fierce and black and sad.
She looks beautiful,
All made up under the guise of what she needs people to see.
And you want to practice,
Be more like her,
Apply the right shade to cover up,
All dolled up in a pretty lie,
The ones daddy likes.

You’re in high school
Momma has shown you the ways,
Laughed and painted your nails,
Traced your cheeks until the lines highlighted your face,
Covered the scars you didn’t need them seeing.
It’s all perfect,
Subtle yet empowering,
The type to make them stop and stare.Blowing kisses with red lips and pretty eyes,
Telling them the lies they need to believe.

You remember thanking your mom,
For all the practice and skill she gave,
Even though you wish it never prepared you for a love like this,
You’ve grown,
Learned the ways of love and the world,The ones make up tells you anyway,
And you cover up,
The hurt, the need, the cry,
Because pretty girls are never to be exposed.
Hidden under the guise you need people to see.

Make this and make that,
The world caves easily to those who paint it.
And you wish you didn’t need the shield of black eyes and red lips,
But that is all you know,
The only thing that covers you from the world,
So you tell yourself the lies you need to hear,
And cover the black until it fades to blue, yellow, green,
Until it doesn’t exist, and there won’t be anything left to cover up.