fantasy forest

Creeping up,
Scarcely running away from my reality,
I find you,

Waiting,
As though you knew I’d stumble onto you here,

Among the chaos and the noise,
Even though I swear you were shut off forever,
Kept away for my own safety,

My own sanity.

But yet,
I found you; all on my own,
I dug deeper into the dirt,
Wandered further than I ever dared,
Finding you like a light among the trees,
Filtered and faint,

But you were waiting for me,
As though you thought I wouldn’t seek you out,
Surprised but not unwilling,
Creeping up on you,
You welcome me back with tangled webs and open thorns,
And into the dark forest we fall,
Further away from my reality
A mere fantasy that the sun shines on.

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sing it with me

Lies,
Just to keep you by my side,
Keep you hanging on the threads I weave,
I can’t tell whose we started to believe more,
The world or ours,

Lies,
They keep us tangled,
Keep hurting me,
In the best way,
Because I believe your stories,
Believe in the tales you spin,
Until I drown in them,
And paint me more of those pretty pictures,
Creating the image in my head,
My throat is caught in the web,
The silk tightening until it’s all I inhale,

Lies,
Lay with me lover,
And tell me all the things that you never believed,
And I’ll weave my claws into you just a little more,
Singing the pain away one note at a time…

where did you go

Where did you go?
I’m waiting here,
Patiently, hoping you’ll find me,
It’s been a while,
Did you forget I was here?
Am I the fool?
Where are you,
I’m starting to get worried,
Did something happen,
Did you forget to let me know our plans had changed,
Or was I suppose to figure it out on my own,
While I’m sitting here,
Waiting for you to come home,
Answering these questions,
That no one asked, and I never wanted to answer them that way,
But….
Where are you?
Are you coming home soon?
Because I need to know if something had changed…

blank

Struggling to write,
Think, talk, anything,
But…nothing,
Nothing comes to my head,
Because I keep drawing blanks,
The words on the tip of my tongue,
As soon as I try to think of them,
A cloud roams over my thoughts,
Static coursing through,
Stealing any semblance of thoughts,
Of…me.
Lights go on,
And the room stays dark,
Lost in the things I can’t find the words for,
Struggling,
What was it I need to say…?

collapse

With all the lights gone,
Only shadows remain,

Some good, others carrying the weight of the chaos and destruction with them,
Each waiting in the fallen pieces of me,

Creeping up,
Ready for me to collapse under their weight.

Doubt is a funny thing,
Lingering like the shadows,

But worse, I suppose,
Because the doubt doesn’t dissipate when I turn the lights on,

It doesn’t linger,
It stays and wallows with me,

Waiting for me to collapse under its weight.
Love is the same,

Hidden in the most unexpected places,
Never where I want it to be,

And always where it needs to be
Even when I don’t want it.

But such is life,
Never following the plan or set motion,

Letting love flow and move with the moo and her tides,
Never allowing its weight to crush you,

Holding you when you collapse from everything else.

Filtered

Filtered shadows

Carved out in the slips of light left behind by the suns rays.

It’s where I know you’ll be, waiting and ready to greet me after a horrid day, a place to rest my head when I can’t hold it high.

Waiting for me to escape, vent and cry, if only to make myself feel better. Because I know you’ll never judge, with open arms and kind eyes.

Hold me a little while longer, my solace, my sanity and my home. Forever waiting in my shadow. Filtering through the mess we call life .

Carved in between the good and bad, the safest place I’ll ever find. Thanks to you.

A message to the stars (pt 3)

It’s five in the morning, and I’m penning lines down, trying to recapture what we had in paper. Most love stories don’t have happy endings, and I’m beginning to realize that now. Once, the idealist in me thought we’d dance to the rhythm of strong passion forever, never missing a step. But looking back, I realize that we’ve stepped on each other’s toes way too often while we waltzed, and the only way out now is through the guilt and pain. I look outside the window and find the twilight capturing an aging bramble. It’s full of thorns and has seen the seasons of its life. I believe that we, like it, can’t be redeemed, and all that’s left is to stop pining over each other and move on, as hard as it may be, unless fate grants us a miracle. 

It’s midnight and the words only come to thought because I won’t, can’t write them down. It’s too much, I want to be down with you, this, us. It’s all too much, I’m just tired. Tired of wishing it wasn’t this way, Tired of wishing it was worse, so then at least I’d have something more to complain and whine about. I can’t help but to feel it was meant to be this way, for the best, for the both of us. Because, that’s what my heart says, what my mind concluded, and what I need to be the reality of this. We were like the stars, those same one we talked so much to, the same ones that I look up when I need to be reminded of you. But like those stars we burned and burned, falling only to shatter and our pieces scattered in the wind. I can’t be tied down, neither can you, so let’s take a page from the stars that range free and beautiful and be remembered for what we created when we exploded in the sky.