drunken love

Am I drunk in love?
Intoxicated on the essence of you and the way you make my head spin,
Or am I merely a drunken fool?
Too far gone to know when to stop, invincible in my stupor.
Whose to say there’s even a difference,
Maybe they simply bleed into each other, starting off with the best parts until the best parts aren’t enough.
Perhaps that is why drunks cling to the bottle as though it were a lifeline,
Because life is simply too plain and numb when not felt with intense feeling and wide
eyes,
Perhaps that is why the bottom of a bottle always holds more appeal then the conversation that follows a broken heart.

Have I drunk enough? Have I not even touched the surface?
How can I tell when enough is enough and I’ve have too much,
Because from where I’m sitting, the liquor burns just the same going down as it does out.
Love is such a fickle thing, beautiful and tragic and always craving more than a soul should allow,
Always wanting what it shouldn’t desire, because what’s better than a taboo romance trapped in the longing of a heart that thrives on the attention of the one that will never be theirs.
What is it about the forbidden fruit that has us climbing trees and jumping off its branches?
What could possibly be in those seeds that have us tipsy on the thought alone?
Perhaps it is one of the mysterious working of the heart and her twisted games.
Yet, this addictive taste is what keeps me coming to play the game night after night,
Idealistically hoping the rules to the game will change overnight,
And I would be able to win the game of hearts among cheats and spades.

my heart belongs to the sky

If home is where the heart is, than mine will never be tied to yours,
For you are a safety net, secure and waiting for me jump.
But I will never let myself linger too long on that ledge,
That curious fear of falling hasn’t quite hit me yet.

I was never meant to be left waiting, left hoping,
My thoughts are much too dangerous to be left alone for that long.
I long to fall into your safety net, to know what awaits me at the bottom of the jump,
But we aren’t that brave yet, so watch me from afar,
Linger and hope for the best, and maybe one day we will be.

This love is as good as it gets, or so I’ve been told,
And my heart knows not the truth we’ve found,
For she is lost in the stars of a faraway galaxy; in the sky as we free-fall together,
Found in the ocean where we dove too deep and too fast to catch our breath.
But my heart can never tie itself down; she is content with roaming free, for now,
Passing by, latching onto the things she could never possess.
She is a floater; quick to attach herself to the feeling, quicker to release,
Light as a feather in the ways of emotions that could keep her grounded.
So watch me soar, up into the clouds and away with the sea,
Lost in the caresses of the waves as I float among the surface,
Home is where the heart is and mine has been everywhere with me,
Eager to lose herself in the embrace of the world and all it has to offer.

Timeless Waters

There are things I whisper only to night and her stars,
And if I’m lucky, the moon replies back with ethereal lyrics from a song
Lost to time and the oceans tides.
The song is timeless, as familiar as the sky reflected in the waters.
My heart aches at the solemn melody I’ve found in the shadows.
That is where you will find me,
Caught between the currents and the sand, where the water rises to the sky,
Singing the story of my broken heart.

Young love is like the ocean, beautiful, whimsical,
Rough, dangerous and widely unknown of how deep she’s felt.
Everyone thinks they can swim against the currents,
Float along with ships strong enough to withstand her storms.
(But those ships sailed falsely with greed, and thus sunk in her anger)
I was once naïve and innocent in the ways of love,
But love, much like the ocean, drowns fools.
And still I return again and again, just to feel the water beneath my hands,
Ready to let her pull me into her depths once more.

There is no moon to guide you to me this night; her light cannot penetrate the
Thickness of the forests and murky waters that keeps me here.
For it is not cement walls or barbed wire that shield my heart,
Only dense forests and rose bushes, with beautiful ruby petals
And thorns as sharp and tough as the words on my tongue.
You settled like a wildfire upon my heart,
Burning away the fallen leaves and broken trees.
Until the flames reach the waters edge,
The embers bleed into the sunset, lighting the dust and underbrush.

There are some things I can only whisper into the night,
And if I’m lucky, you will hear the cries that sing me a song as endless as the sea,
As tragic and lovely as the woods that hide my heart.
So look for me in the shade of a forest, the depth of the sea,
Where I sit upon the rocks, and write the tale of my broken heart,
In hopes that you will give it a new ending.
Oceans separate us, so I will send my love in a bottle,
And pray that it will find refuge on your shores.
And when you finally find me,
We will lie at the edge of the sea, and gaze up at a black sky
Waiting for a star to die so it may grant us our wish

the fantasy of you and me

In my dreams you are mine to hold, to kiss, just mine,
Laughing and playing, beautiful in our imperfections of each other,
Yet the morning always comes and my dreams fade into wishful thoughts.
Reality always did have a harsher bite for frequent dreamers.
These fantasies are more dangerous than I give them credit for,
And they seem to follow me into reality, teasing me of a life that will never be.
I know I should create some distance,
But it’s so hard to fight something as natural as you, and me and whatever this is between us.

I always seem to find love where it isn’t suppose to be,
In the dimly lite light, hidden in the warning signs of a cautious heart, lingering in the hopeless romantic I shield from the world.
Beautiful love stories are found in tragic beginnings and heartbreaking what-ifs,
And I wonder what its like to get my heart broken by someone who doesn’t even know they hold the power to so.

I know I could never quit you, despite the trouble and rumors and looks we get,
And had I known what you would mean to me the first day I saw you,
My heart would have protected herself long ago,
Because as much trouble as you bring, my soul has never found another like yours,
Connecting with an ease that has me scared shitless,
So help me God, but I always did love the trouble sin presents.

You seem happy in the bubble you’ve blown for yourself and yours,
Never letting anyone close enough to splinter it,
But be careful with beautifully blown glass,
For it shatters faster than this fragile heart of mine.
I see you laugh and smile in the arms of another,
And the feeling isn’t jealousy per say,
But there are dark thoughts when I can’t seem to stop myself; wishing life had had a different plan for both of us,
I know these thoughts are wrong, but god help me I can’t stop myself,
Wanting, wishing, praying for things that would have a better person walking away.
So I sit here and imagine things that my mind and heart know aren’t possible,
But the fantasy of me and you is better when I control the outcome,
For I couldn’t imagine a reality where my feelings are known or
Feeling pacified, as though I were a child,
Wanting the things that aren’t theirs simply because they can’t have them.

 

 

The Road Always Traveled

Love. This feeling that has no perfect definition,
The feeling that is both a blessing and curse,
The emotion that is trapped by the way things once were, and never will be
It is the thing that Gods crave and humans seek for a lifetime,
It is the making of timeless song, woven in the grounds of the Earth,
Waiting for the day when it will be simple, another rational feeling to the mind,
But dear, that day will never see the light of day.

I’ve rode this path dozens of times,
Each time taking one more wrong turn than the last,
My heart and me should know better by now,
But we never learn the rules of an ever-changing road,
Blowing through stop signs, throwing caution over the many bridges we’ve crossed.
But these feelings and emotions that we connect and trace over,
They are like the tide, here for a night, gone by the sunrise.

My heart and I grow fond of the feelings we created,
And, oh darling, it not the feelings I’m afraid of
Emotions and I have too much history to be disregarded.
(My heart has lived so many versions of a life, one thousand times over,
And in each we discover a new definition of forever,
Built on the feelings a heart must discover through a life lived.)
No, I am no more of afraid of falling in love as I am breathing,
Both painful dependent on another, both necessary for my survival and hers,
But, falling out of love, that stops us cold.

To give so much of who I am, to someone who does not think like me,
The fear that one day we will not be what each other needs,
And the feelings that once burns our hearts with fireworks and passion and love,
Becomes nothing more than an ember too burnt to light a fire.
So we guard ourselves, my heart and me,
Never letting one rule completely for too long,
Because the day when all these feelings we feel become rational.
Is the day my heart dies and my mind becomes a slave to the way things once were.

Hooked

I can’t seem to find you in the bodies I sleep with, nor the minds I explore,
These yearnings have always been at my fingertips,
Close enough to trace but never grasp.
But you know how short-lived these feelings have been,
And you never hold them against me.
I’m not through with you yet; I can’t seem to shake you.
Is that what it means to love someone?
Or must the feelings be as strong as the day I fell in love,
Powerful, thrumming with excitement, yet foreign in so many ways,
It turns the skies lilac, reflecting off the pink waters that pour from them.
I wish and pray and beg for relief from these constant emotions,
But the right words never leave my mouth, always stranded my tongue.
You laugh and skip around the thoughts in my head,
Never lingering to grant release. Always one step ahead,
I want to sink into you, but need your permission to fall,
And I know those words will never leave your lips,
So I dance and play around the things I want most,
Coming short time and time again on a feeling I cannot place,
Never fooling myself into believing the relapse you’ll give will be anything short of miraculous.

stardust and sinners

There was a time when I believed good had always outweighed the bad,
Where love would find a way and prayers were answered by a power beyond me,
But then I met you, a fallen angel among the crude masses of man,
And I began to believe in new religion all together.

Magnified in the confides of angels and demons,
Humans have always had a way of exploiting the gift of free will.
Made in the image of an angel with minds demonic and sinful,
Man struts across the Earth, leaving in his trail, lies and the damage of the corrupt.
Beautiful disasters set to destroy the Earth and her love.

So despite the danger it meant to a good girl too far gone
My heart was smitten with the likes of you.
And I can only watch helplessly as she falls for your ruthless charm and sex,
All the while begging on my knee for more of your delusional love.

Let us fall into each other without a care for anyone else,
A demon and a girl who knows not what she is capable of.
Take me far from this place and her soon to be ancient ruins,
And as we sit on clouds floating above,
Lets watch the world collapse into itself, straying far from what she used to be.

Trapped in the desire and greed of man and all his destruction,
The world is wrapped in façade and chaos.
But darling, you have always been the focus of my universe,
However deranged that seems. So let the world fall, and we’ll dance on her ashes
Collecting stardust and starlight to create a world meant for sinners like us.

Loving You in the Dark

Loving you in the dark,
These words tainted as they drip from my lips to yours,
Shrouded in the best form of that crazy kind of love,
I can’t help myself, crying out words that would have a saint blush,
And a sinner grovel in praise.
Lets hide away in the dark, slip your hands down lower, lower…there,
And lets explore the hidden truths we find buried between them.

Honey liquid, lapped from between my legs,
Your tongue whispers the words you’re afraid to speak,
Let each pretty lie and that terrifying truth dance on my breasts,
The best and worst parts of this love,
And I can’t help but to wonder, what makes a pair of lovers like us?
Those that bleed and cry, those that fall in love so passionately and quickly,
Eager to start a life wrapped in each other…
I can’t find the fault in you that would make me run,
Rather, easy come easy go, my body accustom to the pressure on a stranger on top of me, each touch different yet thrilling in their unknown.
But your touch stops me in my tracks,
The way your fingers trace my face,
The way they trail down my body, your eyes quick to follow.
And I can feel myself heat up at the mere thought.
My sex dripping and you’ve yet to touch me.
Maybe that’s the affect of love on the brain, the way you fuck me into remembering only your touch, your cries and the way the sound ringing off my walls,
And I’ll do my best to trap them within my heart, or at least, the path up to her.

Legs shaking, these heels can’t seem to hold the weight of your love,
So take me hard one last time, let the bruises on my hips be a way to remember you by, the best traces of you left on my skin, take all you want…
From behind, let my ass slap against your hips, rhythmic and seductive,
Force my head into the sheets, gasping and moaning for each breathe,
Make me feel each thrust, each sharp drive further and further into the very best part of me,
And catch me as I fall apart underneath you,
Shaking and moaning from the pressure that finally releases through you,
And I promise that this sex will unfold the best-kept secret.
One day, I’ll be able to love you in the light,
The sun reflecting off our bodies as we lay in the aftermath of this sinful glory,
But for now, let me love you in the dark, because it’s the best way I know how.

Beautiful Lie

The wine pours into the glass, the red bleeding into the crystal.
She watches and waits for the signs—a wink, a nod, the small smile,
Anything to get her heart racing and blood rushing.
She’s more open, honest, when her words are laced with toxins and grapes,
Lying with empathetic promises and false passion.
So she waits to see the reaction of the lover she’s faced with,
High on the feeling of power only sex can bring.
His lips tighten and fold, ready to explore what’s underneath.
And her body unfolds in his heated gaze,
Eager to pose, and show off the right parts of her soul.

So the wine plays tricks on her heart,
And his eyes fall shut as she moans her thoughts,
Their bodies move in sync with the beat of flesh on flesh,
Fighting each other until the sun rise glares through the window,
She struggles to find semblance at the bottom of her panties,
While he rushes her out of the bedroom and onto the couch for one more go,
As the morning light fades from the curtains, so does their love,
He is whisked away from her by the beautiful lie he lives
Until dusk falls back into place, and they pick up where they left off.
Fucking with a forbidden lust and a nameless emotion.

The wine turns her on more than it should,
And she relishes in the feeling of being slightly out of control,
Left on the beach, covering herself in the waters and sands,
She runs her hands through her sea tossed hair and down her sun kissed body,
Eager for what he will bring to the moonlit shores,
And what he promises brings the most delicious rewards,
Lathered in wishful intoxication and the suns poison.

So she waits for his fateful touch, sighing in relief when he appears,
She falls apart at the faintest of kisses and sinful brushes.
Gazing into the stars she put in his eyes,
Though the moons shining onto her body dulls its effect.
So when the sun rises, and the moment passes,
They go into the waters to wash away the remainder of their love,
And return, to the lovers they each left sleeping in their separate reality.
Both living the same beautiful lie.

where my cliff meets your sky

She lives life to the fullest, soundly and gravely,
Holding back only pieces of her soul that make her who she is,
She searches the stars for answer,
For surely the vast sky will bestow its worldly views with her,
Yet, the clouds always seem to float in and out of the way,
And she is left trying to pieces together the pattern of the stars in her head.

He lives life on the edge, huddled on the corner of a growing cliff,
He knows he just has to jump—
He’s ready for life to offer whatever it has at the bottom of the canyon,
Yet, as much as he tries to push himself forward,
That corner has grown strings deep enough to not be snapped by a leap of faith.

She wants and wishes and wills life to make her memories,
Full and lived, with a collection of shot glass that line the wall,
Filled with regret, happiness and adventures she can’t quite remember.
She wants to be a girl, who keeps bookmarks for each story that spoke to her soul,
Marking pages in her life, filled with wonder, heartbreak and contentment.

He waits and waits for someone to come along,
To push him when he cannot bring himself to fall,
And that is when she appears.

She finds him on a cliff; she views him living life so freely with arms wide open.
He finds her at the bottom of his edges; he views her as the thing he can fall into.

And together, the live life to the fullest,
Falling into each other at the bottom of the sky and the top of cliffs.