Po. #7457

Torn form the mouths of babes are the harshest realities,
Never shielded from the innocence of a simple life,
A simple mind and a simple heart, locked through the eyes of a child.
What it must be like to think things clearly,
With no doubt, not an anxious thought to cross their path.
Those things are what I feel with you,
Such a peace of mind I never thought existed.
But what a dangerous line we cross,
Caught between bold and secret intimacies, held back by the boundary of what-if’s and what could never be.

With you things are so easy it scares me,
Because isn’t that what love is suppose to be?
To feel wanted and missed, to know that I will always be able to roam,
It is meant to be good and sensational and perilous. It is thrilling and intoxicating and
easy. So easy and safe, when I’m with you.

Not sure what I make of these newfound feelings,
But I keep trying to smother them down, knowing I can’t feel these butterflies,
For there’s no way this is right and I know it will never be this simple,
We are no longer children, haven’t been since life blindsided us,
And there is no easy way to fix the damage that I have grown used to.
Darling, there is no way this will work between us,
But the safety I long for, the ease you’ve created to fall into, are things I crave.
Knowing that you are here with me is all I can ask for at the moment,
And I will wait for the day that the boundary set in place for us will be lifted.
Maybe one day the stars will align, the gods will bless us; something in whatever
universe will fall into place for us,
And we can explore the easy chemistry our souls created for us.

Keepsake Sexts

Keep my locked in the box underneath your bed,
A photo to gather dust and cum,
When you’re feeling vulnerable and horny,
Another trophy of your sad shelf…

But know I gave my all to you out of love,
A trust and longing that came from knowing I turned you on,
Got your dick hard and throbbing for me,
Or at least, the image I portrayed to you.
Know that an image is only a moment in time capture
Of the thoughts and feelings I felt in that singular moment, and nothing more…

Keep me buried under the shame and cravings,
The desire you wish you didn’t still feel,
The longing you know you can never escape,
Because I was the one that got away and I’ll always be the conquest you were never able to conquer,
And that’s okay. I know my worth, know the love I deserve and crave,
Know you would have never been the one to fulfill the one thing I needed.
Compared to your version of love, it’s more than any picture or explicit thought you conjure.

And I know these thoughts keep you up at night,
As you grab your cock, fucking and twisting it with no relief in sight,
Because my image isn’t enough to get your ego off,
Knowing I moved one, that I don’t moan to the thought of you,
Nor do I think anything of the love you once tried to convince me I needed,
Because you know I cast your photo to the curb,
To gather dirt and dust, left to the elements of indifference.

So keep me locked in a box,
Trapped under your bed, in you closet, under your sheets,
Left to gather the thoughts and regrets you jerk off to,
Another trophy you never truly won, were never able to keep…

blank skys (the stars can’t save us)

Have you exhausted my line,
Uses me up and bled me dry,
Is this the future we promised each other underneath stars and kisses,
Had I agreed because I was hypnotized by your eyes and smile,
And I didn’t’ even realize,
Or maybe I did, do,
But I’m so tired,
Fighting and screaming,
Cowering and silence,
They don’t make up for the damage the words tumbling inside my mind,
Bouncing back and forth,
Time has been harsh to us,
Words planting themselves, ready to explode,
Taking out everything in its path.
There’s nothing left to say, to do,
Is this the future those stars knew when they looked down on us,
Mocking us, or pitying us because we could not see what they could,
Looking up at a blank sky,
I’d imagine they had more to say,
If they wanted to show themselves,
But for lovers like us,
Nothing the stars know can save us now.

Untrained Wages in Love

Love is an emotion I never took the time to explore,
For she is something I cannot control or even restrain,
And if I cannot control her, how am I supposed to governor my reaction?
So Love is someone I had strayed from, never too close to the window of love,
Never letting her linger too long in my heart, never letting her seize thine eyes,
How can I give myself to you when I’m too afraid?
Letting people in had never been a strong point in my makeup,
And I have survived years without the need of another,
So who are you to make me give up my solitude?

Your touch is as familiar as a lover from another life,
Though I think that is where you should remain.
For I have been trapped in my eternity for quite some time,
You could only complicate the fragile cage I built around my heart.
And yet, the rattling you stirred has made me doubt all I had done to keep you away.

So yes, you invade my heart like snow upon the dirt,
Covering all that had been bruised, torn and stitched back together,
And like a stranger you come into my life unannounced.
Your presence remains longer then I wish,
And while I can think of all the reasons I want you gone,
It is the one reason I want you to stay that keeps my lips closed and heart open
For I was always curious about this emotion that wrote sonnets and waged wars,
This emotion that causes death all in the name of a feeling, a single touch,
That still writes timeless lyrics to songs that make you weep.
And for this curiosity I remain in rapture by the presence of a stranger,
For what’s love but the offer of another’s vulnerability, their deepest secrets?
Secrets hold dear to the sense of ones self, and I am prey to those sinful moments,
Those captured in the security of love and her truths,
And I will do my best do seal the fate of a new found fascination of love,
For it is she that will grate me the power to write sonnets and waged wars,
If only to prove she had power over me, despite my best defenses.

 

 

*Image found on pinterest.com*

those damn bad habits

Falling back into the same habits,
They remind me of you,
For better or worse,
Making those bad choices that bring me closer to you,
I miss you,
I’m lonely and I want you here,
Falling back into you is everything I wish to do,
I’m drunk; maybe I’m not spelling this out right,
Forget her; let me remind you of us,
And all the choices we used to make together,
For better or worse,
We always laughed as we fell,
Covered in bruises, my hands are scared from reaching for you,
Lost in your eyes,
I forget this isn’t where I’m meant to be,
Those damn habits.
They remind me of us,
Good, bad, and for better and worse,
Am I the only one who remembers those times…?

stranger in your bed

So you leave the bar with that stranger whose name you never got,
The music was too loud; your thoughts were somewhere else,
But they wander to…that person… even now,
Even as you’re riding home with another,
A body to replace the pillow you clutch at night,
A nameless face to kiss and drown your remorse in,
Because the whiskey can’t distract you this time,
And he’ll smile, pull you closer and whisper the things he thinks you want to hear,
Need to hear, (just not from him)
And maybe this nameless stranger can give you an orgasm
Or even something close to,
One you don’t have to put any thought in,
Because Jesus,
Is it that hard to make sure the person you’re fucking is enjoying themselves?
(You know the answer is yes, as you’ve spent more nights reaching for your vibrator to
help finish the job
While the body next you snores in contentment, as if he satisfied your desires)
But the distraction can only be as blissful as it is ignorant
And you mind wanders again,
To that person,
The one that has you pour yourself a drink,
Because that’s the only way you smile through the tears,
Why can’t that person leave you alone…
Not in your thoughts, in the things that remind you of them,
In the bars where you go to escape them
Why, why can’t that person leave you alone, god,
That person was once a stranger to you too,
So why can’t you remember a time without them?

learned love

What point do you stop feeling sorry for yourself
And learn to fight back?
How much do you have to take?
How much abuse is given and taken,
Justifications spilling from both our lips,
Where is the part where learn to grow,
Take advice and learn to see from the other side,
I can’t keep this going much longer,
It’s exhausting,
And it makes me weak, fighting every demon we throw into it,
These excuse we give, the stories we tell to hide the truth,
I can’t keep track anymore,
I’m tired of letting it get in the way of our truths,
Our love, ourselves,
Pity isn’t the same as empathy,
And I think it’s time we talk with more than shouts and snide remarks.
Sit down with me now,
And watch as we expel each demon as they come.

(proposed) vows

You stole my voice, my breath, in the same sentence,
I was shocked,
Teary and hollow,
Because I still can’t believe it,
Not even with the proof staring back at me,
Through your eyes, through the light as it reflects off its surface,
The stars sparkled silently as they gazed down on us,
And the water quietly lapped at the shores,
Waiting to hear the next words that would be whispered in the night
And as the hours faded, and minutes bleed into each other,
I heard the words I dreamed,
But my dreams never could prepare me for a reality like this,
I laughed, cried
Was blinded to the one moment I now have burned into my memory,
So I asked, again and again, (always)
Will you ask me again, just one more time,
For the rest of your (my) life,
“Will you be mine?”
(I do. Yes. Always.)

to feel wonder (like you)

There’s a jolt, a reckoning in me,
When I look into your eyes,
Admiration and awe and horror and amazement,
Is it possible to feel all these things at once?
So helpless to this sensation,
I whisper secrets until I can’t breathe,
Eager to trace the stars that dance before my eyes,
So close to grasping what imagined…
Curiosity killed something; I was told,
And I can’t seem to keep my wondering eyes away from this fascination,
So perplexed I marvel over the need to be seen,
And it’s you,
The thing that sees me for me,
But, I’m scared; you won’t like what you find,
Because as charming as I seem,
My demons haven’t found any reverence between these prayers,
They seem fond of the chaos I bring on my own,
But they don’t live in the exceptions you have for me,
So I cast them aside as much as I can,
And cling to that jolt I feel when you look at me,
All these emotions rolled into one, I wonder,
What it is to feel wonder like you…?
Do you feel a jolt, a reckoning inside when you see me…

timeless love

I love hearing your voice,
Little snippets you place when you think no one is listening,
It’s mesmerizing.
Caught in your tenor,
The octaves captivate me,
Love me with your best versions,
And let me learn form your worst,
Because there can’t be anything wrong with learning to make something perfect,
Is that how you view us?
Perfect…it’s so hard for me to see you the way you see me,
I’ve been burned, jaded and scorned,
And I know you have too,
But when you found me,
Your scars stitched themselves together and began to heal,
Your smile got wider and the cloud over your heart turned white and light,
And I hope you know you changed me,
My hearts wall dropped to let you climb over,
And my body didn’t shake when you gripped too tightly,
Our kisses changed our lives,
And I love you, and the way you love me,
So please still be patient with me.
I’m healing
The way you are,
But you seem to have closed your wounds faster than I,
Our love will be timeless I know,
But it’s okay to take our time getting there.