broken wicks (can’t lite)

The fires were lite, and died,
This flame has long been nothing but a pile of ashes,
Blow away with the changing winds, as the world moves on,
But, it seems you are the only one who just can’t move on,
Catching the floating pieces,
Showing them into a jar to preserve them,
As though they help you keep the wounds fresh and open,
And give you something to cling to in your path of self-indulgence and
anger,
Move on sweetheart, let go of the past,
No one is forcing you to live in it,
But, it seems something I did has gotten under your skin,
Or you wouldn’t need to reach into that jar,
So you could receive attention for another fifteen,
But no matter how much you scratch and itch,
That feeling will always be there.
Nagging and making itself known,
Because you give it the power to do so,
And you have no one to blame but yourself,
Darling, it’s funny how you still try to play the victim,
When it feels as though you are the only one who cares anymore.

that effect of you…

I don’t even feel the effect you have anymore,
So I take more, down and down,
I swallow hard, taking a shot of you,
A taste of what I need to give me that high,
Hoping I’ll feel something, anything, like the way you once gave,
What happened?
Why don’t you have that effect on me anymore?
I miss it; I need more of it,
If only because it takes all of you to make me feel anything now,
So much, too much, I’m an addict,
But even you can’t control this side of me,
Not when you’ve lost your hold on me,
Not when I look to another to make me feel the way you once did…
I wish I could be satisfied,
But I’m a greedy bitch,
Ready to swallow you whole,
If only to feel your high just for awhile….

all the things i could say

I could say all these things,
Even now,
The words burn my throat,
Dying to make their escape,
But what’s the point,
I’ve let them have far too much power over me,
And it’s taken all I am,
And I wish it hadn’t,
But there isn’t much left to be done,
I could say all these things,
But it doesn’t change the burnt ends of these matches,
Lite by the flames of distrust and hate,
I’m exhausted honestly,
Drained from it all,
I’m done.
There’s nothing left to day,
Trust me,
Exhale with me,
And let the words blow away of the passing wind…

proven

It’s more to prove it to you than me, I realize,
Because I can live with disappointing myself,
I’ve done it time and time again,
But you,
Something makes me pause.
Makes me wonder if your gaze would shift,
Emotions flicker over those steely eyes,
Closing and shutting me out as you see what I’ve done,
And me, the person I truly am,
I can’t even imagine it,
It makes me pause, stop, even now,
Because there is something about you that changes me,
For the better and even the worse,
But there is a change,
An idea, formed and taken life in you, in me,
And maybe this is what it means to truly love and be loved in return…

cheap tricks and addictions

Cheap tricks and party favors used to get me through the night,
Wrapped up in another strangers arms,
The city that never sleeps kept my attention,
But that addiction was never with me when I woke in another’s bed,
Night after night, thrills faded and I took hits stronger than the last,
I needed the addiction to keep me up, to keep me strung along for a little more,
But that high only lasts so long,
And than you sauntered into my life,
Randomly, so unexpectedly and I hate it,
Hate that I wished you were with me the nights I explored those late nights,
Ventured into the dawn with new stories and surprising addictions to mirror the poor choices I used to make
Hate that I started to need you to keep me up longer,
Hate that you started to replace the addictions entirely…

Cheap trick and party favors are the things I clung to,
Kept me warm in the middle of the night with each new stranger my body wrapped around.
And it should have been enough; it was what I was used to,
And I hate you for changing that about me,
Hate that I looked forward to coming home to you in our bed,
That I want to be wrapped up in only you,
And the only party favors I wanted were your silly jokes and corny dance moves,
Your cheap tricks making me snort the tequila out of my nose,
Your laughter drowning out my complaints and bemoans,
And I hate that I find myself laughing along too.
A new addiction is forming,
And I hate that I’m helpless to stop it…

ethereal

She has this beauty,
That is flawless and effortless,
What must it be like…
To have that confidence and not know doubt,
Or do you know different kind?
We all have them,
But the doors that open for you are so different from mine,
And there is no hate,
I promise,
But there is something,
I can’t explain, a yearning, a wish…
To know that side of life,
You flow so seamlessly in the waters,
Floating elegantly, like you’re ethereal,
But I guess the beauty and blues of the waters , the skys no no bounds.
I suppose the brighter stars are meant to be seen,
While the rest of us fade into the sky,
Smiling upon a beauty we can only enjoy from afar,
But the sky is big enough for all of us,
And you have this beauty that needs to be seen,
So let me fade behind you,
And I’ll watch you shine while cheering you on from the blacken sky,
Drowning in the waters underneath.

@awriterssoulblog

stranger in your bed

So you leave the bar with that stranger whose name you never got,
The music was too loud; your thoughts were somewhere else,
But they wander to…that person… even now,
Even as you’re riding home with another,
A body to replace the pillow you clutch at night,
A nameless face to kiss and drown your remorse in,
Because the whiskey can’t distract you this time,
And he’ll smile, pull you closer and whisper the things he thinks you want to hear,
Need to hear, (just not from him)
And maybe this nameless stranger can give you an orgasm
Or even something close to,
One you don’t have to put any thought in,
Because Jesus,
Is it that hard to make sure the person you’re fucking is enjoying themselves?
(You know the answer is yes, as you’ve spent more nights reaching for your vibrator to
help finish the job
While the body next you snores in contentment, as if he satisfied your desires)
But the distraction can only be as blissful as it is ignorant
And you mind wanders again,
To that person,
The one that has you pour yourself a drink,
Because that’s the only way you smile through the tears,
Why can’t that person leave you alone…
Not in your thoughts, in the things that remind you of them,
In the bars where you go to escape them
Why, why can’t that person leave you alone, god,
That person was once a stranger to you too,
So why can’t you remember a time without them?

doomed from the start

Star-crossed lovers can never meet across the skies,
For I rise with the moon and her stars,
My pale white glow casts an eerie shadow.
While the sun takes control of your skin
Licking and lapping the patterns you trace with your fingers,
Igniting the fire that grows dim in the night,
Wander too close and I’m bound to be inflamed.

One by one we fall down,
Covered in sweat, dust and blood of lovers that came before us,
Whose stories always end the way they begin.
Thrilling in the flirtation of a stranger with a dark appeal.
There’s danger in the mystery of a new body.
But, lover, we have so much more to explore in the chaos of the night,
Lets fall into each other trapped and carving marks with love bits and trailing nails.

Night after night we crash and burn,
Meeting the rising sun with tired eyes and sore muscles,
But we still cannot find the feeling we sought in the beginning,
So we fuck hard and fast, never having time for soothing words and caresses,
Bruises are supposed to be a sign of a good time…right?

I’ll take this chance, just one more I whisper for the millionth time,
And we continued the cycle like we had never been burned before,
But our story will never be one for decades past,
We are two stars never met to meet,
The sun and moon destined to pass by like ships in the night,
But who could resist a good chase?

she fell in love with Life the way Death once had.

She would stare at the reflections of the sky as they were replicated on Earth,
With wonder and pity, she traces over the glass, only for it to distort.
She caresses the moons crescent, a slip of what she once was.
A perfect so picture could only exist in the confides of her mind,
For the stars always had a way of changing and creating what had never been.

She watched and waited, never letting her eyes stray far from the blackening sky.
Staring endlessly at the stars as they were born time and time again, yet,
For all their beauty, the broken galaxies they left behind never could amount, for,
Each held a shattered piece of a life that was no longer theirs to claim.

From Death, she supposed, the stars gained a presence they could not in life,
Uninhibited by the bounds creation trapped them in,
They moved and soared with no means of Time or the space they resided.
And they burned tales in the darkness—the story of lost stars had never been found.
Explosions and bursts brought forth from a love they once shared with the sky.

It is in that moment, she fell in love with Life the way Death once had.
Forever wanting to grasp what he could never have,
The need to create and give life—his touch would only sully,
So to have what he could not, he gave his curse to the stars above.

He hoped to impress creation with his virtuosity, to dazzle her with cosmos
Left behind by overwhelmed stars and their fragmented existence,
But for all his attempts at infatuation, Life would not submit,
For she was engrossed with Time and his tricks,
Existences given and taken in a single moment,
And Life had always been naïve, eager to give, and Time was forever patient,
Waiting for opportunity to snatch the cosmos Death had forged.

But, perhaps that is a story for another time, she thinks,
For the stars have no master, at least, no longer, as they play and fall from the sky,
And she knows that it is only a matter of time, before,
Life decides to give back what was taken from the stars in the sky,
For Time to bid himself and draw the cosmos across millenniums, all the while,
Death sits and waits for Life to look at him the way she does her creations,

But perhaps that is a story for another life, she wonders,
For she had watched the stars shift and change time and time again,
After all, it is a moons job to keep the stars in line with themselves and the games they play.

the fall of spring

Oh, the fall of spring had never looked so lovely,
The reds, greens and yellow hues bleeding so deeply into each other,
One is captured by the colors and the images they paint,
So fascinated, they forget it is death giving them such a beautiful show,
As he weeps with joy, for beloved has returned once again.

Oh, the fall of spring is lovely when looked upon by death.
Worship and remember by the god who could never forget a face,
And she is the only one to look upon death and not be ensnared by eternity,
Perhaps love is truly the only one to cheat death.
(That river flows far too wide and deep, though it always circles back,
As to not be forgotten by the one person who is curse to remember each ripple)

Oh, the fall of spring is as timeless as the ticking clock,
Beating and spinning with a life all its own,
Yet, trapped by the confides of natural law.
The ground swallows her whole as she descends to hell,
Bringing life and color to a darken chamber of hopelessness.
And he loves her, if only for that. For how hard must it be for the daughter of life?
When she is someone loved by a being that only causes, creates and nurtures death.

Oh, the fall of spring. Persephone is her name,
And oh, what a lovely name it is.
He clings to it like the mortals cling to their dying rituals,
(Though he knows they never amount to anything.
A soul is a soul and the river holds no bias; no amount of riches changes that).
But he thanks the stars and her powers for gracing him with a dying hope,
Because the only thing that keeps him sane is the presence of life.
And he laughs at the sheer irony the gods have created for him.