too much for words.

For as much as I put my thoughts, fears and hopes onto paper
For as much as I let the feelings flow from my ink,
I can never seem to find the right words for you,
An anomaly,
A phantom that holds my hand as it writes,
But can never describe the emotions that come with,
Maybe it’s for the best,
A love like this cannot be put into words,
I know,
I’ve tried; again and again,
But my love, this strong emotion, a feeling that grips me in ways that give my life a
meaning,
I can’t get the wording right,
I’ll struggle; I’ll pen the wrong things,
Things my mouth wished it could say,
Wished I could give the empty words on paper life,
But I can’t,
Because a feeling like this is too much for mere words,
It’s meant to be felt,
And I do, I feel it every time I see you.
So keep making me laugh, smile, and heal the parts of me I can’t repair
And I’ll forever try to write the things I feel when I’m with you.

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how it defines you

Have some pride,
Life changes,
The winds shift and the oceans tides withdraw from the sands,
Constantly moving,
Life happens and there is nothing you can do to stop it.
Of course,
Come cry on my shoulder,
Tell me how unfair life has been to you,
How it’s ruined you and you cannot continue because you’ve been wronged,
But have the decency to commit to your story,
You cannot blame me and thank me in the same breath,
Life does not care,
So carry on,
And stop whining that life has served you all the wrong cards,
When you truly do not appreciate what you have had,
If you did, maybe we could have a different conversation,
One where I held you as your cried to me,
And I offered comfort instead of criticism
But, I cannot turn a blind eye just because I love you,
Have some pride darling,
Because life does not care for the weak and simple,
And know I am here to make you strong,
Life happens, but you do not have to let it defeat you.

i quit you

I quit you.
There I said it,
Done, Finished,
I can’t spell it out anymore,
Everything I was is tied to you,
So let me reinvent myself
Under a new guise,
Under new eyes,
Let me do this,
God, please,
I need you to let me go…
Because any sense otherwise,
I’m crawling back,
Like a bitch,
So beat and submissive,
Who just can’t seem to learn her lesson…
I come crawling back to your love,
And the attention you give
And the attention I always destructively craved
As if it’s something to save me,
My salvation—rising up from under this rumble.
I quite you.
There I said it,
Done…maybe, possibly,
Maybe I’ll see you just once more,
Say this to your face,
I quit…. You, this…..
I think.

(a) love: noun. a feeling you can’t describe

perhaps it’s the way you catch me staring

Or maybe the way I can’t seem to take my eyes off you. It could be anything. Yet I can’t seem to put it into words.

It’s so cliched; you light up a room, or I smile whenever I think about you. Whether you’re there to see it or not. It’s dumb really, how excited I get when I have something to share with you. Or how you have this one smile that you save for me. Or how I get butterflies when I’m the reason for it.

Really, I should have better things to focus on. You shouldn’t consume my thoughts so much, after all this time.

It’s funny, but it’s true. You’re always on my mind. Good or bad. Even when I don’t know wether to strangle or kiss you.

I want to keep smiling and laughing with you. Dancing and scowling when you step on my feet. Rolling my eyes whenever we disagree. But that smile always tugs at my lips.

In every way, I never want to stop loving you. In this moment, in this life.

Perhaps it’s the way we always catch glimpses of each other, slightly smiling with that knowing look in our eyes…

where do you go?

Where do you go when you sleep?
I see your eyes flutter,
Shutting the world out in place for your own reality,
And I wonder,
Where do you go?
What world captures you in the deep make believe,
Or,Maybe the world you fall into is as real as the clouds you long to touch.
Still,
I wish I knew where you went,
When you shut the world out,
Closed your eyes
And embrace the images you play out in your mind.

those 3AM calls

Those three AM calls kill me,
I wish I wasn’t awake,
In the middle of the night,
Listening to the silence,
Waiting for you to ring me up,
Saying I miss you, I need you,
And I wish I didn’t get excited,
Wishing my body didn’t clench at the thought of you,
So late in the morning, calling me,
Asking me to ease your loneliness,
I’m ashamed I cave so easily,
Climbing up and down your body,
In an attempt to please you because I think it will please me,
And I wish I didn’t have your contact anymore,
Wish I didn’t know those numbers, vaguely,
Asking me wyd?
Asking me to sacrifice myself just once more for a feeling,
And I wish I didn’t,
But those three AM calls kill me,
And I can’t let myself keep going under anymore.

…and fall in love with the first thing i see…

I forget how good this feels,
Me and you, love,
Laughing together as the sun rises,
Fluttering through our closed blonds,
Just enough to shut the world out,
For only a little while longer,
Because there is no where I’d rather be,
Than in this moment with you,
Wrapped up in nothing up you,
Because there are no words to describe this feeling,The way you make me smile,
Even in the haunting hours of the morning,
When the sunrays haven’t penetrated my mind,
And I forget this isn’t where I’m meant to be.
But you always pull me back,
Holding me close as I remember,
Slowly, but lovingly recall your touch, your eyes, your kiss,
And I open my eyes to see you,
I forget every morning,
Until I open my eyes,
What it’s like to wake up with you,
With you so close,
And fall in love with the first thing I see.