we need the change.

Frozen,

I can’t stop staring, listening,

The words are so broken,
I don’t even know what to make of them.
The emotion behind them, the hate, the love, the sadness,

God it breaks me,

I wish I couldn’t, shut my eyes and ears,

Enjoy the bliss that comes with ignorance,
Because there has to be an answer to this,
A flicker of relief for my assurances,
Isn’t that all we’re reduced to,
Our own fragile hearts and how much they can handle,

(I’ll tell you it isn’t much, one crack, and they shatter into pieces)

How much more can we take,
The lies, the abuse the blatant disregard for any decent humanity,

I can’t believe we’ve lost it all.

Have we become such a broken state that we no longer know that it feels like to be whole…?
I’ve no power left with this privilege life dealt me,
And god knows I’ve tried to use the best way I can,
Wielding the mistakes and wrongs to educate and learn from my past,

But it’ never good enough, never powerful enough,

And I hate that the world reduces us to this powerless feeling on inadequacy,
Of lonesome and failings

Of everything we never hoped we would be…

climbing changes

I never wanted this;
It’s funny how we crave change,

Wish for it on a shooting star,
And when it finally comes,

We find excuses to make it worse,
Make it harder because we can’t accept it,

Not yet,
Not before we’re ready.

Why make things harder when we don’t have to?
Why make it complicated when it could be simple,

Simple is ignoring the change,
Letting the opportunity come and go,

As quickly as that star,
And that’s how most people live,

Simple,
Afraid to make the changes the dream about,

While other climb mountains,
If only to get a better glimpse of the stars they wish to be a part of.

I never wanted this;
But it’s time to rise,

The sky is so much more beautiful from the top…

like autumn leaves

I only miss when the season changes from summer to fall,
When the leaves slowly fade from green to yellow and orange and red,
Their foliage left behind on the naked branches,
Swaying in the wind, shivering from their lack of warmth,
A story soon to be forgotten in the piles they leave behind.

But as the summer turns autumn, the cold sets in,
I’m left trying to harvest what’s left of this love,
A broken and useless thing in the winter,
Never around long enough to gather what I need,
But I suppose that comes with change,
And not being able to cling to things that never change,
Because they always do.

This cornucopia is built to keep the confusion and regret and anger,
And excuse, leaving us holding onto the things that kept us from truly loving each other,And it sits on the table, plain as day,
Mixed with the love and feelings I thought I saw reflect in your eyes,
The love and thoughts that came out hollow and blind from my heart.

I miss you, I do,
But I can’t let you control me every time a leaf falls to its death.
Or the weather drops in temperature,
Because missing you is as hollow as the warmth of the sunshine this time of year,
It lingers only a moment for you to truly feel until the harsh child of winter kicks in.

…clinging to the breasts of our mothers…

When do we stop clinging to the breasts of our mothers,
The hands of our fathers, letting them take us off their shoulders,
When do our eyes open just wide enough to see past ourselves,
To see into the world we’ve always known, yet never understood.
I like to think we never truly let go,
At least, we always find fragments of the past that clings to us,
Embedded so deep in ourselves that we can’t ever break free.

Change does not come easily,
Nor does it happen to those who need it most,
Rather; it sneaks up and shifts something in our world slightly,
So, so slightly we may not notice, never suspecting the change,
So wrapped in a drama that will fade with time,
That change waits and waits for us,
Hanging on when we can’t, and happening when we think we can’t take anymore.

When do we let go, break away form the group that has shielded us,
Trapped and protected us from the danger of the unknown,
Let the change embrace us,
Swallow us and spit us out,
New and different, whole from the pieces it glued backed together,
It’s time we embrace the change, the different and the odd,
Because it comes to us when we least expect,
And that is the day we don’t remember to look back and see whose watching us.