To my rapist,
I have no words to describe the horror you gave to me,
Starting from the rumors you spread that turned them against me,
To the way you still believe you had a right to my person.
A gift you think you bestowed upon a willing body,
I’m sorry your sense of reality is so deluded,
That you sought pleasure and validation from a person so, so unwilling,
That you cannot understand the simplest of requests, suggestions,
No, demands, because my politeness and mannerisms quickly became panic and terror,
So venomously against your touch and kiss,
Yet, you still thought I was flirting with you, seducing you,
Enticement in the most exciting ways.
Playing hard to get when in fact I was fighting for my life.
But don’t worry, you took a piece of that the moment you violated everything I had.
So, you won that,
You got to destroy a woman, turn her into a scared little girl,
One who still screams in the middle of the night,
Tears falling; blinding her further into the terror of that darkness,
And cannot walk anywhere without glancing 15 times over her shoulder,
Lest something creep up on her suddenly.
But, you did not kill me, and some days I wish you had,
Those days I am at my lowest,
But I rise,
Again and again,
I build and create a new person, woman, in place of the one ripped from me,
And it took me such a long to time to recover,
You made sure I would deal with this the rest of my life,
But I take it, and I mold it into the woman I’m becoming,
Embracing the hardship and the heartbreak and the tragic lose of everything I knew,
So thank you, my rapist
And I say those words sardonically, with a touch of sincerity,
Because I know nothing can kill me after what you’ve done.
To my rapist,