lie to me

There are the lies you tell to make yourself feel better,
The ones that don’t hurt anyone,
That makes you laugh at life instead of cry.

There are the lies you tell to avoid the truth,
It’s not something you can face,
And the poison that spills from your mouth sounds better than it tastes,

And then,
Then there are the lies you tell so well you begin to think they are the truth.
(And most days you lie and tell yourself they are
Who’s gonna tell you otherwise?)

These are the lies that are most dangerous,
I tell them and listen as you repeat them back,
And that taste is back in my mouth, bitter, but swallowing gets easier each time,
Lies, the fabric of our reality,
Mine and yours,
And I’m not sure I’m ready to change that.

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i fell in love with colors, once

I feel in love with colors once,
Their bright, attractive allure,
Drew me in time and time again,
Fingers dancing on the edge of my heart,
Caressing and sighing, teasing laughter echoed in my head,
Colors drew me close, whispered beautiful things,
I saw stars in so many different perspectives,
Saw the sunset everyday and each time gasped with the portrait that bleed into the sky,
I fell in love with all the colors,
Never questioning why,
And they all broke my heart.

The day I saw things in black and white was when I met you,
When the colors had drained me dry,
Taking whatever they could,
I still here the haunting laughter and my heart lurches.
(And it’s shameful that I miss seeing the sunset,
How the stars shone, the way the night sky bled)
The black and white, though,
It was so dull, simple and so transparent I wondered what caught my eye,
It wasn’t the vivid imagery it drew in my mind,
Couldn’t have been the thrill or excitement,
But…something still made me stay.
(Maybe I was trying to heal the mess colors left smeared across my heart)

It showed me there was so much more to my darkness,
How shades of grey told a story,
How the midnight hue told an endless story across that same night sky,
How the white bright stars shone in a new, different way,
Colors had bled me,
But the comfort of black and white,
Of you,
Made me learn to create my own colors,
Shining bright and bold,
Mixed with a touch of your own color pallet.

diving (questions)

Tell me who do you owe this love to?
What is your version of love?
Who tells you what is right?
Who is wrong, how to love in the way they deem worthy?
Is there a guidance system?
Or is it a free fall, like jumping into the depths of the ocean,
Eager, excited, yet purposefully avoiding the obvious…
What happens when it all goes wrong?
How can you dive when you can’t see the bottom?
Were you pushed, did you trip?
Or did you pray, hope; take that leap of faith,
Letting something guide you down and down and down,
Until you hit the waters so hard you can’t even gasp in pain and awe,Too caught on not
sinking and drifting to the bottom’
Using everything you have to rise to the surface,And that you float up, up and higher,
But never enough to forget what it felt like to freefall…
Tell me,

How do we love with no way of knowing for sure?

for keeps

Bite my lip,
Pull me down til all I can see are your eyes,
And do your best t keep my attention,
On those more important parts of this union,

Keep sowing up at those past midnight hours,
I can’t play this game,
My disguise is almost transparent,
The more I crave you,
The more you can see it written in my eyes,
As you pull me down with little to no resistance,
I find myself no longer wanting to fight.

Our game was cute,
Exciting, and new,
But I’ve grown attached,
More than I ever thought, more than I wanted to,
And you have no idea I play for keeps.

what you you think?

What would you think?
If you saw the person I became?
The things that lead me to these moments,
The moments I didn’t take,
Words I didn’t say, the actions I held back because I was a better person,
The times I was a better person because I took the time to think.
But…

There were times I spit words I wished I didn’t,
Moments I let happened without stopping them, and,
Actions I took and rendered,
Some I regret, and others I’m glad happened,
Because they taught me to grow and forced me to learn,
And so the cycle began.

What would you think?
If you saw me as I was…
No makeup, no filters,
I know,
You’d tell me I’m pretty,
Lovely inside and out,
But did you see the way I treated others?
When I think no one is listening to my thoughts?
I like to say I treat everyone fairly,
But I’m only human,
And I know there are those I disdain, those that get under my skin,
Those I wish would rot and just, god, just no exist.
Would you still think of me as lovely?

What would you think of me,
As I am,
My flaws, my faults and my tragedies,
All rolled up into a lovely picture I let the world see,
I hope, I hope you would see me still
The person I crave and wish to be,
Underneath it all,
A person trying to be better, and making better choices each day,
I hope that’s what you would think of me.

stardust and sinners

There was a time when I believed good had always outweighed the bad,
Where love would find a way and prayers were answered by a power beyond me,
But then I met you, a fallen angel among the crude masses of man,
And I began to believe in new religion all together.

Magnified in the confides of angels and demons,
Humans have always had a way of exploiting the gift of free will.
Made in the image of an angel with minds demonic and sinful,
Man struts across the Earth, leaving in his trail, lies and the damage of the corrupt.
Beautiful disasters set to destroy the Earth and her love.

So despite the danger it meant to a good girl too far gone
My heart was smitten with the likes of you.
And I can only watch helplessly as she falls for your ruthless charm and sex,
All the while begging on my knee for more of your delusional love.

Let us fall into each other without a care for anyone else,
A demon and a girl who knows not what she is capable of.
Take me far from this place and her soon to be ancient ruins,
And as we sit on clouds floating above,
Lets watch the world collapse into itself, straying far from what she used to be.

Trapped in the desire and greed of man and all his destruction,
The world is wrapped in façade and chaos.
But darling, you have always been the focus of my universe,
However deranged that seems. So let the world fall, and we’ll dance on her ashes
Collecting stardust and starlight to create a world meant for sinners like us.

here’s to you

Here’s to the ones who think they’ve grown.
The ones who brag about how life has turned them around,
Took the worst she has to offer and made something of it,
Here’s to you.

Here’s the ones who love to proclaim they’re better from the tragedies they endured,
As though life handpicked only them to suffer and live with the aftermath
As though they’re the only ones with something to cry over.
Here’s to you.

Here’s to the ones who love the role of the victim,
(When they only look to gain sympathy and manipulate those too soft hearted to see through them)
Time and time again,
Playing the card when it suits them and graciously opening themselves up to pay offs and hand outs,
Because what it life without the bullshit.

So here’s to you,
And the way you love to claim you’re a better person,
How you’ve grown and matured because life threw a difficult few days your way.
I’ll raise my glass to you,
And roll my eyes at the bullshit spewed
Knowing what will be will be.
It is what it is, and here’s to that,

Karma is a bitch.