graves we dig

Why do you still haunt me,
I buried you, dug the grave myself as I let myself fall apart,
Covered you in dirt and salt to rid you of the lies that seemed to rise from the dead,
And yet still, here you are,
A keepsake in my memory,
Like you were waiting for me to remember that I would miss you,
Miss what you represented, the thrill you gave, the danger,

And then your ghost appeared,
Summoned by my weak will and masochistic heart,
Or mind,

And you’re ready to wreck havoc on this fragility,

But I haven’t been left helpless,
I learned, I thought I did, when I walked away from you,
How to dig my way out of the dirt,
To use you in the worst ways, to justify the excuses I learned.
You created a monster,
And I only see her when I find myself staring back at the shadow I cast,
Captured in the reflection of me.

2 thoughts on “graves we dig

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