The words a stuck in my throat,
The ache in them making it harder to breath,
But still I can’t manage to utter them,
…because that gives them life,
And I’ll never be able to take them back once spoken.
I wish I were meaner, colder,
That I didn’t care what they would do to you.
And some words I let fly so freely I’m amazed I have no shame in saying them,
And then there are these words, that I let sit on my tongue,
Let the taste of them sit in my mouth and weigh their consequences,
…how do we know the difference between them…
This time the words don’t come,
They know before I do that their damage is irreversible,
And in my anger I don’t care,
I want to scream them.
Let you know the hurt and sadness you caused in my heart,
Nothing comes out,
Nothing my the sorrowful sigh and the tears,
And I choke on them,
The emotion, the worry and anger.
I let them stay,
Drink them down with something bitter and soothing,
And wait to deal with you, them, when I can swallow freely.