All I was—was you.

All I was—was you.
Consumed in everything of you,
Everything that made me who I thought I needed to be,
You defined every part of me, from the morning realizations to the evening pleas
I couldn’t think without you invading…
Some day, I hope to breath without you,
Some day, I wish to be able to hold onto the love I gave myself when you hadn’t existed,
Wherever, whenever that may be, no matter how deeply buried,
To remind myself there was more to life than the feeling you beat from me,
I hope to feel that once again, the love, the happiness, the joy of a new possibility,
Without you,
Is that wrong…?
Am I allowed to question anything that doesn’t agree,
Because you lead me to think it didn’t exist outside of you,
I know that isn’t true, but my heart couldn’t imagine the world with you,
That I was nothing until you found me,
I found love, I know I did,
But it as not the love I sought, not the love that I hoped for,
But what did I know?
I was innocent, eager to please and to grant you assurance,
That I let myself fall in love with the sinner I was warned about,
Never learning to question until experience cast me in its dark embrace,
So consumed and so jaded,
I learned about you, with you and all of you,
And now
I find myself alone with nothing but the thoughts of what I could have done better for you,
Invading and conquering,
One day I won’t think about you, at all,
And that’s the thought that leads me deeper into excusing you.

2 thoughts on “All I was—was you.

  1. taurusingemini says:

    We all try, to establish our own separate, sense of the self, with the relationship we are in, not knowing, that we can’t, fully come to acceptance of who we are, and we learn, through having our hearts broken, repeatedly, and we finally, realize, that we are the only ones, we need, acceptance from, then, we become whole, by our does…

    Like

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