the fantasy of you and me

In my dreams you are mine to hold, to kiss, just mine,
Laughing and playing, beautiful in our imperfections of each other,
Yet the morning always comes and my dreams fade into wishful thoughts.
Reality always did have a harsher bite for frequent dreamers.
These fantasies are more dangerous than I give them credit for,
And they seem to follow me into reality, teasing me of a life that will never be.
I know I should create some distance,
But it’s so hard to fight something as natural as you, and me and whatever this is between us.

I always seem to find love where it isn’t suppose to be,
In the dimly lite light, hidden in the warning signs of a cautious heart, lingering in the hopeless romantic I shield from the world.
Beautiful love stories are found in tragic beginnings and heartbreaking what-ifs,
And I wonder what its like to get my heart broken by someone who doesn’t even know they hold the power to so.

I know I could never quit you, despite the trouble and rumors and looks we get,
And had I known what you would mean to me the first day I saw you,
My heart would have protected herself long ago,
Because as much trouble as you bring, my soul has never found another like yours,
Connecting with an ease that has me scared shitless,
So help me God, but I always did love the trouble sin presents.

You seem happy in the bubble you’ve blown for yourself and yours,
Never letting anyone close enough to splinter it,
But be careful with beautifully blown glass,
For it shatters faster than this fragile heart of mine.
I see you laugh and smile in the arms of another,
And the feeling isn’t jealousy per say,
But there are dark thoughts when I can’t seem to stop myself; wishing life had had a different plan for both of us,
I know these thoughts are wrong, but god help me I can’t stop myself,
Wanting, wishing, praying for things that would have a better person walking away.
So I sit here and imagine things that my mind and heart know aren’t possible,
But the fantasy of me and you is better when I control the outcome,
For I couldn’t imagine a reality where my feelings are known or
Feeling pacified, as though I were a child,
Wanting the things that aren’t theirs simply because they can’t have them.