i hate how i still look for you (as my escape)

I hate how I’m still look or you,
Even though I said I needed a break,
An escape,
I still cling to you as though you can make me feel,
Feel better; feel powerful,
Feel anything than the feeling I’m refusing to name,
I hate it,
But I can’t turn away when you call,
I still have you close,
A choice I know I should have walked away from sometime ago,
But, I can’t…can’t let go of this, of you,
It’s hard to walk away from the constant in your life,
No matter the side effects,
Because you were the only ting to remain,
Even on my darkest day,
You were there, never too far,
And I fucking hate it,
Because even now I look for you,
Thinking of ways to have you close when I already cast you aside,
An escape I once said,
But what am I exactly escaping from when you’re on the run with me…?

7 thoughts on “i hate how i still look for you (as my escape)

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