I can’t tell what I feel for you, infatuation or devotion, lust or love,
But the affects feel the same, and I’m left tongue tied and flustered,
A friendship left to define itself within the boundaries.
But these thoughts are so loud, screaming at me to define what this means to us, what this is.
We went down this road before, thinking we could change each other,
And all we got were biting kisses, bruised lips, torn skin; two damaged hearts that clung together as they drowned.
So I guess all that’s left is to hang onto every work spoken, clinging to what is open to interpretation.
When I’m sober these thoughts rack my brain, stealing my breath and fluttering the butterflies, but, the more I drink the more, those feelings aren’t as strong,
So maybe I’m a safer drunk than I realize,
Or maybe the affection I have for you drowns in the alcohol I chose to let course through my veins, numbing the affects you have on my heart and me.
Which I thought had been so guarded.
Either way, I feel like this is a dangerous game we chose to play,
Kings and queens roaming the board without a care for the pawns beneath us,
Laughing as our knights fight for whatever is left scattered across the board.
Despite this game we play, I still feel as though I should have been warned,
Feelings this strong should come with a warrant—
‘Caution to this victim, she can only take so much of you until she bleeds,
And this time her heart might not be able to come back form it’.
I can’t let us drown for a second time
And you shouldn’t want to swim in these dark waters with me,
So let us say our goodbyes and cut off all ties,
And I will look back on this fondly, a lesson I needed to learn the hard way,
And maybe one day when we meet again on the board
Our pawns will be able to defend and protect.
Or maybe we will be different rulers all together,
A king with the power to not only break, but mend what he damaged,
A Queen whose lips are red from the lips she kisses, not the blood she spills,
And her heart will no longer be worn on her ripped sleeve.