hard to swallow

I’ll keep swallowing that poison you feed me,
Hoping one day I won’t want to spit back in your face,
Maybe one day I won’t feel its effects so deeply,
The acid burning my throat each time it threatens to resurface.
Perhaps it was my loneliness
Or maybe it was yours that kept us crawling back to this hole,
Down and down we go,
Falling into those bad habits and repetition that numbs us,
Hard to miss the sun when your eyes have adjusted to the darkness,
And everything that lurks in it.

Give me that poison,
It’s about time for my dose,
Seems I feel to much, fell victim to its effects,
So dependent,
Shaky and weakened,
I reach for you,
Helpless,
But I know that’s how you need me to be,
Can’t have that strength showing up at the wrong moment,
A real mood killer if you can’t get it up,
But I wish my snark and witt hadn’t left me,
And I wish I had that venomous tongue,
And not just what you’ve injected in, coursing through my veins,
My words have lost their bite, their conviction,
As I swallow that poison once more,
Letting in numb me, preparing my for you and your twisted love

 

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4 thoughts on “hard to swallow

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