When She was Here

I think I first felt my heart flutter when your hand brushed the hair out of my eyes,
It was innocent and intimate and more than I could handle,
So, I laughed and joked about it all night long,
While my mind was diving deeper into what could be.
But I fear my heart does not know who to love another,
It has been trapped in this chest, beating with a drummer long deceased,
But it seems your eyes on me bring him a little more life than the last warrior to swept the battlefield.

I know I have never felt as strongly as when your lips are inches from mine,
And your soft fingertips running down my arm,
This illusion of a catered love is magical.
I smile as your hair brushes along my chest, falling over your shoulders,
Your laughter trailing down to the junction on my thighs
My smile falls into a gasp, I can’t believe the connection, however physical it seems.
So play up this fantasy for a little while longer,
And let me drink in my full, playing up the images my heart conjured from too many late night novels and taboo images,
Pretending that I can commit to a lover longer than a one-night stand.

Try as I may, my heart cannot cling to any other,
Sorry, baby girl, but she has belonged to me far longer than anticipated.
And I always put myself above others,
(Maybe it’s a skill developed over time, or maybe it’s from years of self-sacrifice)
Perhaps, too much self-love can be a damning thing,
My mind of heart over body cannot seem to separate the finer lines of reality,
And there was once a time when I could have loved you fiercely,
Loved you in all you were, red lips, full hips, curves that drew my eyes through to your my soul,
But that was before I cared about what my heart told my mind,
And what my mind would create in the absence of what my soul needed,
So try as I may, my heart has buried herself deep in my chest with the her drummer once again,
Maybe one day the she’ll make it across no man’s land, and into your arms.

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6 thoughts on “When She was Here

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