Those worthy of love should only see the gift as beautiful and pure,
And darling, let me tell you, love is something I am not worthy of,
But, I never minded as much until you came along,
Demanding attention from ever part of me, battling with my heart,
Trampling over her fragile grace, her fleeting beauty.
But I am no more for you than the moon is solely meant for tides,
Two things that exist within the darkness of each other,
Never taking more than what the other gives.
Love was something to be seen, but never felt,
Because I don’t know if my heart is capable of such complex things,
But you believed to changed the very essence of me,
Destroying what could be, in favor of what you think should have been.
I will never be able to be the girl you need me to be,
For I am all wall and stone and sarcasm and fear,
Never allowing anyone to cross my lines without careful suspicion.
And for you to get across an enemy’s line does not mean you’ve won,
It only means that my demons were too curious to not let you into my space,
Eager to see that chaos you would bring to an already explosive heart.
That’s the thing about you,
You believe you’re the cure to a disease as ancient as time,
You think you can save me from myself, and you think you can cure me,
Always watching, always waiting for me to realize you’re right there,
But my mind is two steps ahead of yours,
Waiting and watching for the day you overstep and speak out of place,
Knowing that no one makes it past these hardened defenses,
And if they do, my ghosts always make their presence obvious.
Never allowing me a moments peace,
Such is the burden of a mind that thinks deeply and loves cynically