Texts at 3AM

My thoughts sit in their white bubble, three dots bouncing on the screen,
Thoughts at 3AM always seem to find their way onto the keyboard.
My thumb hovering over the little arrow that could change everything,
But these letters are words that will never make their way into your messages,
So I watch them disappear in the space of what could have been.

Know that it hurts to keep these thoughts and emotions and screams bottled inside,
For the power they hold over me is suffocating.
(But I know you can find the chemicals and thrills to free me from these confides),
My mind reeling from a chaos of its own making,
And I drown in the words that refuse to leave my throat.
Now, you know me; every twisted version I have,
Faces masked and true intents discovered under the rubble,
But that never scared you from exploring all of me,
So please paint me with vivid colors and haunting images of a story untold,
And for you, these words will be your lullaby, a comfort buried in time.

My fingers seem to have a mind of their own,
Wanting you to know every thought and feeling as it is happening.
Texts at 3AM always seem to find their way out of the chaos of my mind,
The words light up your phone in the silence of a breaking dawn,
When the Earth is her stillest, and the chaos is dozing in the darkness.
Let’s not pretend that this won’t be an upheaval among the valley,
But let us know that what we rebuild will be beautiful and timeless.

Time comes to a halt as I hold my breath,
You may not know the importance of this text.
It is so much easier to let it pour when no one can see.
So I hide behind the protection of my phone and her peace,
Watching as delivered turns into read,
Anxious and relieved, I pace, to see how you respond to a vulnerable heart,
I wait and wait, watching your three dots bounce on the white screen

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13 thoughts on “Texts at 3AM

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