Ruins you left me in

I hate the silence that surrounds me in the crowd,
Only when I escape to solitude does the noise simmer and fade,
And the place where my mind can wander freely is exposed,
To you, to them…to anyone with a mind to listen.
You had came to my hearts calling,
Summoned by like minded and withered hearts,
And I clung to you like a child,
Helpless and gullible, believing the words that spilled from a pretty mouth.

We fought for answers we had no right knowing,
We laughed as the fires rose from where we crashed,
{I never could see the burns forming on my skin,
Or the bruises on my hips, thighs and arms,
And the blood that drips into my mouth is sweeter than I remember.}
I can see the lie as it forms in your eyes,
But I am too blinded to trust anything other than my version of the truth,
So I laugh and cry and scream and fuck with you as expected,
Never knowing what the future of us would hold.
So now the words I need are just out of reach,
Screaming at me, shouting for freedom and release,
But my terror keeps my lips sealed,
And the memories refuse to fade, trapped on reply in every waking thought.
I see your face in every shadow that creeps,
Your presence never truly leaving, and every motion has me turning my head back.
I hold my breath and watch, waiting for you to appear,
But you never do. Leaving my thundering heart and me.
Chaos comes in all shapes and sizes, but yours consumed my entire self,
Once we could have moved planets and stars,
But now we only leave dust in the ruin of a forgotten time and place,
Left behind by a black hole of our own making.


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