a new year (but same old me)

New year, new me—And this year I mean it,
No longer will I be waiting for you to come knocking on my bedroom door,
I won’t accept visitors after the darkest hour. (That was not in me resolution).
Yet, as the months go by, my body craves what I will not feed it,
And I find myself at your doorstep, just as the ball begins to descend,
New year, finally, for it has been far too long without you in my blood stream.

New year new me I say, yet it is so hard to change the habit of you,
I can never seem to break. For you have been with me so long,
I wouldn’t know how to celebrate without your presence,
Or the comfort it brings to my reckless heart.
New year, I want to be a new me, but I’d be so lost without you,
My head hurts to dwell on it for to long.
So I drink to you and your selfish ways,
Hoping your new year, new me won’t swallow my alive.

I’ve been working on the things that are wrong and right this New Year,
But my pride won’t let me admit my defeat (She is the number one vice),
So this New Year, new me plea is simple, and quick.
I need you in the way the sun never fails to raise a new year,
In a way that the moon dies a little each sunrise for 365 days,
So New Year, but same me, because there can never be a me without you, can there?
I’ll ring it the New Year the best way I know how,
With me, myself, and I, writing my most intimate thoughts for the world to see.
And when you come to collect the debt I owe, I will be ready with arms open wide,
To receive the twisted love meant only for my bad habit and me.

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One thought on “a new year (but same old me)

  1. darkanddominant says:

    I’m in two minds on this one, only because it starts hopeful and then sinks into delicious lust as your body betrays your mind and drags it to the depths as well. So on one hand, I like the hope and hope for best and on the other, I want and hope to see you sink into depths. What comes out of a person when they give in to their animalistic side?

    Liked by 1 person

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