To Grant the Devil Grace

The first time I saw you, I was memorized,
You captured my with your charm and the whiskey you had in hand,
So I fell into your orbit and let myself be cast away with the tide.
Hoping to land among the stars you kept glittering in your cosmos.
We crashed landed onto something neither of us knew,
So we forged on in, never stopping to think of its name.

The second time, I truly saw you, the bad the worse and the in-between,
A man who knew what he wanted, yet nothing of what he needed,
So I played a part in your story, helping you decide what was and what is,
Yet for all your demons, I came back to you night after night,
Satisfying the sins of craving, succumbing to the wills of a broken angel,
Ready to fall open to judgment and penance if only to grant you grace.

The third time I saw you, my eyes were forced upward,
Since I would not bow my head while on my knees.
The games we played long past the boundaries of respect and trust,
So you open up to me the only way you know how,
Fingers bruising my hips, your lips staining my skin,
And I let you inside my body, for it is no longer a temple to seek redemption.
So while your hips move, my back arched, I let myself sing hymns in your name,
Knowing it will be my name in you lips when you come.

The fourth time I saw you, we had finally made it to the same page,
Waiting to see what the chapter had in store, I turn the page eagerly.
We fell back into an old habit of sin, bending backwards over the desk, the car, but,
Never a bed…for that would’ve tied us to a commitment not yet ready to be made.
Yet we were happy in the way only lost lovers can be,
Clinging to a semblance of affection and trust.

The fifth time I saw you, it was you on your knees,
Put in a position of humiliation, of your own doing.
For all powers in the world, I could not help you in this.
You struggled onto your feet, ready to lash out in pity and anger,
And I let you, knowing the weight of your guilt was enough to make me sigh.
The scars still line my body, pale and glowing in the light of the moon.

The last time I saw you, we fell from grace and plundered in the abyss.
Lustful nights grew too dark, not even the headlights could shine through.
The façade of trust had broken after one to many hits and broken lies.
We tried to drown in the movement of our bodies,
But even the worn sighs and forced moans couldn’t help us.
So I left you asleep in the bed, not saying anything the morning after
And I never hear from you again. I like to think we both found what we needed,
A head filled with empathy and a heart consumed with compassion.


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